Emerald Tears
by Yukitsukamoon
Summary: Hisoka is kidnapped, can he defend himself against a sadistic doctor and strange experiment. read and find out. TsuzukiXHisoka and MurakiXHisoka. YAOI N/C M/M
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING YAMI NO MATSUEI IS NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please R&R

Hisoka Kurosaki walked slowly up a flight of stairs leading to his one bedroom apartment. His day had been long and tiring at the Ministry of Hades. They had went on a rather easy mission but the heat was overwhelming in the location they had to go. The suns heat had always made Hisoka tired and sick because his body temperature never really worked that well even when he was alive. In the summer he had to take cold showers to keep his body cool and warm one's in the winter to keep his body warm. Layers of clothing helped a lot in the winter too but he was never one to show a lot of skin in the summer no matter how hot it was. His jeans and long leaved sweaters where almost like a second skin to him.

After the mission he had a ton of paper work to do and that was just simply tiring and annoying on it's own. His partner Tsuzuki was there to help but well let's just say he is more of a bother than a help most of the time. Then the walk up the three flights of stairs to his apartment practically drained the boy's energy. Days like this made him wish they had a elevator or that he lived on the bottom floor.

He sluggishly walked into his apartment and immediately headed towards the bathroom, shedding his shoes and sweater on the way. Once inside he removed the rest of his clothes and got into the shower. He turned the water on about to luke warm and sighed in contempt. He quickly washed himself and turned the water off. He dried his sandy blonde hair and dressed himself in warm pajamas knowing that it would be cold tonight. He walked over to his bed and collapsed exhausted. He curled under the sheets and let sleep take him.

Hisoka was awakened by something cold running across face. He sleepishly opening his eyes and was somewhat surprised to see that the sun had still not risen yet. He sat up and shivered as cold air blasted him. He looked up and was surprised and frightened to see a window wide open. He quickly snapped out of his drowsy state and get up out of bed and turned a light on. He looked around and saw that nothing was disturbed or stolen. He shut the window quickly and wondered how it got opened. He was positive that he had never opened one before he went to bed. "did it get blown open?" he thought "no that's impossible it was locked but if it was locked how would someone get it from the outside..." Hisoka's eye's widened "in less they are inside!" He backed away from the window and was startled when his foot hit something.

He spun around and saw nothing but he slowly looked down and saw a small female porcelain doll. It had long brown hair and huge emerald eye's so much like his own. She was dressed in a dark green dress that formed a large circle around her small feet. Her skin was pale ivory, except for her blushing cheeks and rose red lips. The teen backed away from the doll terrified and then held his head as memories came crashing down on him.

""_such beautiful skin, as pale as a dolls, it contrasts so wonderfully with you blood"" _

""_remember our first meeting under the sakura tree the fateful night""_

""_You look so beautiful cover in blood underneath the red moon""_

""_St...o..p..it....STOP! Stop it...ah!n..no....no""_

""_You feel so wonderful"""_

""_no witnesses""_

"_AAHHAA"_

"_STOP!"_

"...Mur...aki..."

Muraki the monster from his childhood. The man that tortured and raped him under a sakura tree when he was only thirteen. Then he placed a cursed the boy by cutting into his skin and chanting a spell. The curse slowly drained Hisoka's life force for three agonizing years. Once Hisoka's died alone in the hospital he become a shinigami, a guardian of death but lost all memory of his horrifying death. But he soon had a mission and it involved Muraki. He was controlling people and making them kill people. Hisoka saw him and had a couple flashbacks. He followed the man and asked him how he knew him. The next thing Hisoka remember was waking up tied with with fine hair's the cut into his skin and had already drained much of his blood. Then Muraki returned his memories and hisoka was horrified, but thankfully Tsuzuki came to his rescue and saved him.

Hisoka stared at the doll and felt his body start to tremble.

"No...Muraki..."


	2. Chapter 2 Sin with a Grin

Heres chapter two Don't kill me for any spelling errors i do this for fun :)

I OWN NOTHING= YAMI NO MATSUEI IS NOT MINE= NOR IS SHINEDOWN OR THEIR LYRICS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Song used- Sin with a grin.

* * *

Look left, look right, but I'm behind you  
I never noticed, until I focused  
On everything you did, you said,  
You lit the fuse inside my head

Thank you for reminding me  
Of why I'm sick inside  
Thank you for the venom, did  
You think it would paralyze?  
These scars I scratch, I tear  
Are there under my skin  
Where you've always been  
Thank you for reminding me

* * *

Hisoka stared at the doll and felt his body start to tremble. He knew Muraki had a strange obsession with dolls and frequently called him "doll". The man always compared his skin,eye's and body to a dolls. He even went as far a saying the young shinigami was his as if hisoka was a possession and not a person. The teen knew he was the first to take him but he had no right to claim him, especial when he was forced and then later killed. He just wished that the demented man would leave him alone. He had killed and raped him wasn't that enough. Hadn't he caused him enough pain and suffering.

Hisoka cried out when a strong hand grabbed him from behind and pulled him into a strong body, while the other hand covered his mouth. Immediately a strong evil emotion flooded into him. The blonde's body tensed painfully as his empathy soaked up the emotions like a sponge. Hisoka cried out in pain as the simple touch sent painful shocks through out his body. The emotion was too strong for him and he couldn't block it with his barriers. He screamed and then felt an energy burst come out of him and the person holding him was thrown back by the force. Hisoka fell to the floor and breathed heavily as the pain slowly receded. He stood up and turned to see Muraki standing only feet away from him. The empathy blast had hardly phased him, all it did was push him back and singe his clothing a little. Hisoka watched a smile spread across the man's face as he started walking closer. The boy quickly stood and felt his trembling get worse as he backed away.

"St,stay back!", Hisoka demanded trying to hide his fear.

"You still have such pale skin, so close to to color of ivory, my doll", Muraki purred ignoring the teen's orders.

Hisoka felt his blood run cold and his face pale when his back hit a wall. His eye's widened and he felt panic come over him. Like a trapped animal he tried to escape but Muraki backed him into a corner, like the predator he was. "Tsuzuki...h..help..m..me....please...", Hisoka thought as Muraki came face to face with him.

Hisoka felt his skin crawl as Muraki reached out a gently cupped his cheek.

"cold porcelain skin and big emeral..."

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Hisoka screamed and slapped his hand away with his own trembling one.

Muraki simply smiled and wrapped a hand around Hisoka's neck. Hisoka screamed as sharp nails dug into his soft skin.

" A doll that misbehaves must be punished."

Hisoka felt his body being slowly lifted into the air and he tried desperately to get free and cry for help but all that came out was a choked sob. He tried to kick but everything seemed to be useless. His small hands wrapped around the man's larger one's and it hurt Hisoka more than it helped him as the evil emotions flooded him again. His body arched in pain and another blast came from him. This one caught the man off guard and sent him crashing down to the floor. Hisoka landed hard and stood on shaky legs. "I have to get out of here", he thought running towards his door. A hand wrapped around his ankle and Hisoka came crashing back down with a frustrated cry. He rolled onto his side and tried kicking the man's hand off but his bare feet did little and the man easily pulled him back and moved on top of him.

"Get off!Stop it!" Hisoka screamed but was silenced by a hard slap.

Hisoka felt blood run down his chin and glared at the man above him.

"What's that face for, Bouya", Muraki purred running a finger down Hisoka's burning cheek. The cool touch on his burning skin made him feel like he was going to be sick.

The blonde jerked his head away and tried pushing the man off him but it seemed useless. Then he remember something Tsuzuki told him one day because he was afraid of someone attacking the blonde when he wasn't around, Tsuzuki was to overprotective sometimes.

""_If you ever get into trouble and someone is overpowering you simply hit them in the neck and the ears. Then if that doesn't work and it's a man just kick them were it hurts.""_

Hisoka thought for a second and knew he wasn't going to do that last part because knowing Muraki he would enjoy a kick to there. He took a deep breath and brought his hands up and hit Muraki in the neck and them slapped him in the ears as hard as he could. He heard the man grunt in pain and then he took his chance and crawled from underneath him and bolted for the door. He hit the door and wrapped his finger's around the doorknob. He unlocked the door and was about to open it when a force pushed him into the door and grabbed both of his wrists, pinning them to the door.

"We can't be having that now can we," Muraki purred into Hisoka's ear and locked the door again. "If I let you escape I may never have you again."

Hisoka's eye's widened and he tried struggling but Muraki pressed his body into the teen from behind and stopped any movement.

"Don't move to much or we might have a repeat of your first time."

"You make me sick!", Hisoka hissed.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Then Hisoka was thrown backwards and he landed hard on his bed. The youth tried jumping up but a hand wrapped around his neck and slammed him down into the mattress.

"Tsuzuki!" He screamed preying that by some miracle his telepathy and voice would get through to his partner.

He was once again silenced by a hard slap and left whimpering. His neck and face burned from the assault.

"Why do you make me do this?", Muraki asked loosening his grip."If you would just behave then things would be less painful for you." a smile spread across the man's face and he leaned down to whisper into Hisoka's ear, "But it's okay this is the way I like it anyway."

Hisoka quivered when he felt Muraki's tongue go across the shell of his ear. His hands shot up to his captor's hands and he tried prying the fingers loose but then he realized how much the energy blast had really taken out of him. Then Hisoka realized how helpless he was right now. There was not a hell of a lot he could do, he was helpless and at the mercy of his killer and rapist.

Muraki released Hisoka's neck and grabbed both of his tiny wrists. Using a red silk ribbon he tied the youth's hand together and then tied them to his headboard.

"No.....please...no....Tsuzuki please help me", he whimpered.

"No one is coming to save you now bouya"

Muraki leaned down and snaked a hand underneath the boy's shirt and covered his lips with his own. Hisoka tensed and struggled in protest as the man moved on top of him. Unfortunately his struggle did little to nothing to help him and only made the silk ribbon cut into his skin. He winced in pain but managed to close his lips before Muraki could invade his mouth. But Muraki was ready and bit down on the boy's lip until he drew blood making Hisoka cry out in pain. He slipped his tongue in the boy's mouth as he screamed and took advantage of the situation.

Hisoka felt tears fill his eye's as Muraki's strong lust broke through his remaining barriers and seeped into his mind and skin. "No...I can't let this happen......not again." The blonde bit down hard on the man's tongue until he tasted blood and then released it. Muraki quickly drew back and slapped the teen hard again.

"Why do y_―_"

Muraki was cut off when Hisoka spit the blood and in the man's face. The silver haired man stared at the teen shocked but then smirked as he wiped the blood away. Hisoka realized what he had done and felt the angry eye's on him.

* * *

R&R and a big thank to Peacock Queen for being my first Review (Hugs) :)


	3. Chapter 3 My Own Hell

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!! YNM is not mine and the song used is My Own Hell By Five finger death punch

WARNING!!!!!! there is male N/C in this chapter!!!!! you've been WARNED!!!!

* * *

Twisting and turning unable to sleep  
Do the voices ever stop  
My thoughts speak louder the more I resist  
And they're driving me insane  
Do they ever go?

Inside  
I'm a danger to myself  
Inside  
I'm a prisoner of my own hell

Losing the battle I waged on myself  
Lock me up and toss the key  
Toys in the attic it's all getting worse  
Why won't I let me be  
Oh god make it stop

* * *

"I guess I'll just have to teach the lesson you sorely need and the lesson that you need to be taught again."

With a violent jerk Hisoka's clothes were torn off and then Muraki removed his own clothing and let them drop to the floor. The pale man moved on top of the blonde and tears filled his eye's as the man began kissing his neck. Muraki quickly spread the boy's leg not able to control his lust and settled him in between them. Hisoka tried moving away but Muraki seized his small hips and held him down painfully.

"NO!PLEASE STOP! DON'T...", Hisoka pleaded as tears ran down his face.

Muraki ignored his plea's and positioned himself at the boy's entrance. Hisoka kicked and struggled violently trying desperately to get free as so many horrid memories came back to him. Muraki's cold touch, his evil emotions, his gazes, and his cold lips on the youth's skin. Everything made him remember and he just wanted to disappear and make it all go away.

""_A little boy up past his bed time must be punished""_

_**Fear**_

"" _Your soft skin is so radiant under the moonlight"_

_**Pain**_

""_A new doll for my collection""_

_**death**_

Muraki raised up and then plunged deep into the boy's unprepared channel. The blonde screamed in pain and arched his back. He screamed as loud as he could hoping that someone, anyone would hear him. Muraki began to move and Hisoka cried out as he felt his insides being torn by Muraki's member. His pace quickened and Hisoka screamed until his voice was hoarse and his throat was raw as the man's thrusts became harder and faster. Hisoka felt blood ooze out of him and the man continued with his non consensual sex. He was much to big for the youth's eternally young body.

"You feel wonderful my boy, even better than our first encounter."

Hisoka closed his eye's and gritted his teeth trying to think of something else and transfer himself to a better place. Anywhere else but here with Muraki moving inside him. The last thing he wanted was to feel pleasure from the sick twisted man that his hated so much. It was just a game to the man it didn't matter that he was destroying a person and making their life a living hell. Just as long as he was happy and content with his actions it didn't matter who was being hurt. Hisoka jerked his body and made the ribbon cut deeper into his wrists causing blood to run down his arms.

A moan escaped Muraki's throat as he neared his climax and tears ran down the teen's face. His lower body had become numb and the violent thrusts had turned into dull aches. Hisoka was too weak to do anything and no one had heard his screams. Muraki climaxed releasing his foul seed into the boy. He slumped over he boy and breathed heavily as his high slowly went away.

"Tell me doll did it feel the same as that night under the red moon.", Muraki asked cupping his cheek and running his fingers down the boy's tear tracks tenderly. "Why would Tsuzuki want you now all you are is a filthy used doll,...my doll."

Hisoka felt so disgusted with himself as Muraki pulled out of him. The youth gagged when he smelled a mixture of blood and sex. The man cleaned himself and put his clothing back on. The ribbon came undone and Hisoka rolled onto his side. He hurt so much but he couldn't stand to be on his back in front of that monster. Muraki sat down beside the quietly sobbing boy and ran his finger's over the youth's skin. The curse marks flared up and Hisoka whimpered as pain from the marks began burning his skin.

"No one would want you now. The only person you have to turn to is me."

Hisoka's eye's widened and fresh tears ran down his face.

"That's why tomorrow night your coming with me."

"N_―_", He was about to protest but then a finger was put to his lips.

"And if you say a word to anyone I won't hesitate to kill you or them. I need your power and the only way I'm going to get it is if you cooperate."

"what is he talking about!?", Hisoka thought terrified, "My power?my empathy? Or the regeneration of a shinigami?"

"I will give you one day to say your good bye's and just remember to keep our encounter a secret."

Hisoka knew Muraki wasn't bluffing. He would kill anyone that stood in his way.

"sleep now my doll we have a big day coming up and you need your rest."

Hisoka cringed back as the silver haired man leaned down and kissed his forehead. Then he whispered a few words into his ear and everything faded to black.

""_Tsuzuki!! Stop I can't see."_

"_I know you can't Hisoka that's why the chief appointed me to help you around until you get your sight back."_

_(This was about three months ago and Hisoka had gotten hit by a demon that spit poison in his eye's and blinded him for a month.) _

"_Baka your not helping me when you leave me alone to walk down uneven stair."_

"_Sowwy Soka I guess I forgot about that.", Tsuzuki apologized but then his eye's lit up. "I know what we can do."_

_Hisoka felt arms lift him up bridle style and he cried out in surprise._

"_what the hell are you doing?!?!"_

"_Helping" _

"_put me down I'm blind not crippled.", Hisoka ordered as a blush turned his face crimson and he started flailing his arms and legs._

"_ah Hisoka stop I can't..."_

_They both fell down the stairs and landed hard on the ground. _

"_Hisoka are yo alright?"_

"_Argh I'm fine sorry."_

"_It's okay I should have know better."_

""_Well you were trying to help, it's okay", Hisoka said barely above a whisper. "I'm so stupid...""_

Thank you for reading


	4. Chapter 4 If you Only Knew

I OWN NOTHING! Song used- If you only knew By Shinedown

* * *

If you only knew  
I'm hanging by a thread  
The web I spin for you  
If you only knew  
I'd sacrifice my beating  
Heart before I lose you  
I still hold onto the letters  
You returned  
I swear I've lived and learned

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, if you only knew

* * *

Hisoka awoke to sharp pains all throughout his body. He whimpered as his eye's slowly opened and he saw the sunlight dimly lighting the room. He painstakingly sat up and could still smell the blood and come on the sheets. He staggered into into the bathroom and quickly got into the shower and turned the water on as hot as he could stand it. His small body trembled as tears streamed down his face and a loud sob escaped his throat as he lowered himself down, his legs getting weak not able to hold his body weight. "H!.....He did it again", Hisoka thought crying, "he humiliated me again." He winced when his wound stung and he looked down to see blood mixed in with the water. He wrapped his arms around his small frame and felt his body shake.

"I...I can't escape him. If I try to run he'll kill me and my friends. His powers are so strange I'm sure he could find a way to hurt or even kill a shinigami." The youth wiped at his tears and slowly stood up. He looked down and saw the curse marks flaring on his body. "Damn it."

He scrubbed at his skin until it bleed trying to get the dirt off him. "It won't come off, I can't get his filth of me."

""_Your a broken, used, and filthy doll.""_

Hisoka could still hear Muraki cruel words in his head and he cried out holding his head.

"N,NO!"

""_Filthy, Why would Tsuzuki want you now. Your just my doll now.""_

Hisoka turned the shower off and tried to put Muraki's words at the back of his mind. He knew he couldn't go to work with the wound because if it reopened then everyone would know and then they would be in great danger. "They're not going to die because of me." He put his blue jeans and green long sleeved sweater on. These clothes were easy to move in and if he found an escape route he would be more than willing to take it.

He walked out of the bathroom and saw the ripped clothing and bloody sheets. He turned away away disgusted and pained by the memories. Then a loud knock came to his door startling the youth. He immediately felt concern and worry crash down on him like a wave. He gasped and quickly put his barriers up. He ran over to his bed and shoved the soiled bedding and his torn clothing underneath it hoping to hide it.

"Hisoka?Are you alright?", He heard a very concerned and worried Tsuzuki from the other side of the door. He walked to the door and slowly opened it hoping Tsuzuki wouldn't be to worried. When people got worried they always asked too questions. He immediately saw the concerned amethyst eye's on him and then felt his strong concern.

"...Tsuzuki..."

"Hisoka it's noon, are you alright?"

"Ah...I'm just not feeling that well. Sorry I should have called in."

"It's okay I was just worried...ah along with everyone at work."

Hisoka gave a small smile at Tsuzuki's statement. Sometimes he just wished he would tell him his feeling because he could feel them but Hisoka wasn't saying anything either.

"You do look paler than normal you sure it's nothing serious."

"N, no it was just really hot yesterday and I think I just stayed in the sun for too long_―_"

Then without any warning Tsuzuki placed a hand on Hisoka's forehead. Hisoka winced and feel backwards trying to get away from the painful strong emotion.

"HISOKA!??"

"Baka!, My empathy!",Tsuzuki reclined back and said sorry quickly as Hisoka stood back up. "I'll be fine all I need is a day's rest and then I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow."

Hisoka looked up at Tsuzuki and heard Muraki's cruel words in his mind,

""_Why would Tsuzuki want you now. Your..._

_...used..._

_...filthy...""_

Hisoka cringed and closed his eye's tight.

"Hisoka", Tsuzuki said concerned at the boy's sudden action.

"ah I, I'm fine I think I just need some sleep.". Hisoka replied quickly.

"Alright I hope you feel better soon Hisoka" Tsuzuki said and hugged the youth.

Hisoka would have usually pushed him away but he knew that this could be the last time he ever saw Tsuzuki. Tears started to fill his eye's and he knew he had to pulled away before he started to cry.

"...Th, Thank you Ts, Tsuzuki..."

He broke away and quickly shut the door behind him. The tears he was holding back came flooding down and he sunk down to his knee's. His wrapped his small arms around his body and felt sobs rock his small frame as he began to tremble.

"I'm sorry Tsuzuki but you can't know the truth." he cried, "If you knew you'd hate me more than I already hate myself and you'd be disgusted by me and never want to see me again."

Hisoka stayed on the floor for hours trying to prepare himself for what was bound to come but when ever he tried he just ended up in tears. His emotions were taken over him and Hisoka couldn't stop it. He kept everything bottled up inside for so long and now he couldn't stop it from coming out.

Midnight 

Hisoka dreamed of his friends and silent tears fell down his face as he slept. He knew he may never see them again. Tatsumi...Watari...003...Koanoe...Wakabe...Terazuma......Tsu...zuki... All his friends would never see him again and there was nothing Hisoka could do about it. If he said anything they would all die and then Hisoka wouldn't be able to live with what he had done.

Hisoka shot up in bed and felt his body trembling.

"I have to let someone know some how he thought."

""_Soka-Chan!_

_Bon_

_Kurosaki, you went over the budget_

_beep beep beep_

_Take the kid on the case with you_

_you damn pest_

_Hisoka dear_

_Hisoka!""_

Hisoka got up and quickly went to the kitchen and wrote a small note. He put it underneath one of the table legs and hoped someone would find it from the Ministry. Then he cried out as the curse marks started to burn.

"I'm sorry everyone please forgive me and please Tsuzuki...please understand."

Hisoka staggered over to the sofa and lowered himself down on it. The pain intensified and he cried out. It felt as if his skin was on fire and he couldn't make it stop...Muraki was near. He wished the hurt in his life would just go away and all of the pain would go away. He wanted to be held and cherished not raped and beaten anymore. He was so sick of the cycle of his life and afterlife. It always seemed to end with Muraki and his sick games.

Then a cold hand touched his neck and Hisoka quickly spun around and slapped it but immediately regretted it once the curse marks flared up even worse. He collapsed to the floor and clutched his teeth together. The pain was even more unbearable than the torture and rape.

"Aaaahhhh!St, stop I...it!"

"Now why would I do that you misbehaved so I have to punish you, my doll."

Hisoka was pulled to his feet and the curse marks became worse.

"When you misbehave I will be forced to punish you but when you are good I'll reward you." as Muraki finished his sentence the pain almost disappeared.

Hisoka understood and he slowly nodded and then the pain disappeared and he was lowered to his feet.

"Good boy" Muraki purred cupping his cheek.

Hisoka closed his eye's tight and tried keeping Muraki's emotions out and his own in check. Tears filled his eye's and he clutched a hand tight into a fist. He turned his head away not able to take Muraki's repulsive touch any longer. The man merely smiled in amusement.

"Are you choosing to betray your friends and have each and everyone of them killed. The friends you love and care for so much."

Tears rolled down Hisoka's face and he lowered himself down to the floor.

"N,NO Shut Up!Arrrrrggggghhhh!"

The curse marks became inflamed again and Hisoka cried out helplessly.

"Don't be disrespectful doll."

"Ah! I' I'm coming! Please stop it!"

Muraki smiled and pulled the youth into an embrace. Hisoka cried out as the pain from the curse marks and Muraki's dark emotions mixed together. His empathy went on overload and he felt his skin starting to tear open trying to relieve the pain and pressure coming into his body. The emotions were to much and Hisoka didn't know what was going on. This had never happened before and he couldn't begin to understand why it was happening now. Muraki looked down confused and saw the youths forearm tear open. He looked and saw that the skin seemed to be burning and that it was turning the youths veins black. Before anything else could happen Muraki whispered into the crying youths ear and the blonde went limp in his arms. Muraki carefully lifted up the youths arm and saw the ugly mark that had been left by the skin splitting open, but it was slowly healing because of the youths shinigami powers.

"Yes the regeneration is amazing...and I can't wait to see what happens with my little experiment I have waiting for you in a couple of days Bouya."

With that Muraki lifted the youth into his arms bridle style and carried him into the darkness of the night.

* * *

Thanks 4 reading :)

R&R


	5. Chapter 5 Crawling

I OWN NOTHING!!! SONG- LINKIN PARK- CRAWLING

* * *

Crawling in my skin  
These wounds, they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
Consuming, confusing  
This lack of self control I fear is never ending  
Controlling

I can't seem  
To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure

* * *

""_Mommy pleas__e make it stop it hurts" a small ten year old Hisoka cried as he was being dragged down a flight of stairs. _

"_Your a monster that deserves to be punished" A woman with long beautiful blonde hair hissed as the small child was thrown into a dark cell underneath the tall and seemingly never ending staircase. _

"_I told you Hisoka using those powers are bad and you'll go to hell if you continue to use them." she said walking up to the bars of the cell._

"_B,but mommy I, I can't help it."_

_The woman hissed in disgust and pushed the child back through the bars. _

"_DON'T CALL ME THAT!YOUR A MONSTER! NOT MY CHILD!" she screamed and then servants caught her as she collapsed on the ground crying._

_Hisoka dropped also as her emotions broke through his weak barriers. Her hatred and then something else Hisoka didn't expect to feel...sadness._

_Then for the first time he picked up on his mothers thoughts_

"_**He's my son and I love him but I must do this or else he'll be killed and as long as he is in this cage I'll know exactly were he is. I need to protect him and this is the only way I know how too because this is how I was treated as a child with my empathy.""**_

Hisoka awoke to pain all throughout his body, he cried out in agony and felt his whole body tense.

"Calm down Bouya before you wake the other patients."

Hisoka's eye's shot open and he was immediately blinded by a bright light. He winced in pain and noticed that he was shackled down to the table. There was a shackle around each wrist and ankle making movement impossible. He turned his head and was quickly corrected when Muraki grabbed his face and pulled it back up towards the light.

"Wha, what are you doing?!"

"An experiment my boy now stay still."

Hisoka's eye's widened and then he focused them. He saw Muraki hovering over him with a scalpel in his hand and a white mask over his lower face. Then he lowered the scalpel and sliced open a small area on the blonde's neck. Hisoka clutched his hands into the operating table underneath him and tensed. Muraki pulled away slightly and watched as the small cut healed. He repeated the action and cut the youth in the same spot again and got the same result.

"hhmpp tell me boy do shinigami's have an unlimited supply of blood or are they near death again without any blood?"

Hisoka stayed silent and only glared at the man above him.

"Or would you like me to test this theory?" Muraki threatened and put the scalpel up to the youths jugular. Hisoka took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yes if we lose to much blood we can die."

Muraki pondered the information and then cut deep down into the youth's face and neck. Hisoka arched into the restraints and opened his mouth in a silent scream. Muraki put a finger inside the wound and watched it heal around his finger but not healing the finger into the skin. He easily removed it and then the skin healed up with no scarring.

"Interesting,"

Hisoka stiffened and felt his body start to ache. He cried out and felt the curse marks start to burn. He gritted his teeth together and balled his hands into fists. Then Muraki cut into one of the lines of the curse marks and waited. When the cut didn't heal he smiled underneath the mask. He made the cut bigger and went out of the line. The portion of the wound that was out of line healed but the cut inside remained the same, unhealed.

"I've found your weakness doll."

Hisoka looked up confused and felt the burning disappear and the marks faded. The cut healed and Muraki smiled as he took off his mask.

"It seems that your weakness is obviously your empathy and my curse cancels out your powers. So now think twice before misbehaving."

Hisoka's restraints were removed and the youth moved off the table swiftly and backed away from the doctor.

"What do you want? Haven't you done enough?"

Muraki smiled and stood from the high stool he was sitting in.

"Because you are mine. I don't need a reason to play with what is mine or have you forgotten who took you first and who heard your first cries of pain and ecstasy_―_"

"STOP IT!", Hisoka screamed grasping his head and collapsed onto his knee's. "D,DON'T!!! STOP IT!!" Memory after memory came flooding back and Hisoka felt like he was thirteen again. He felt so vulnerable and alone.

"Doll do I have to punish you again, already?" The man said walking over to the teen and watched the blonde sink down to the floor trying to get away from him. "Do you really like it that much?"

Hisoka felt tears come to his eye's and he flinched away when the man kneeled down and touched his face.

"Please don't" Hisoka cried and felt his body start to tremble.

"If you would behave and obey then I wouldn't have to punish you and you may not have to be so fearful of me."

The pale man wiped away the teen's tears and pulled him to his feet.

"See this isn't so bad is it." Muraki said running a finger down the youth's tear track.

Hisoka shivered and then his lips were claimed. He tensed but didn't pull away. "I can't take another rape. I can't take anymore torture. Please Tsuzuki save me your my last hope." He thought desperately as he was lowered onto the table with the man's leering eye's on him.

"Now for getting up and being so disrespectful I'm going to need to punish you."

Hisoka felt his insides knot and he felt sick as the man's hand went up his shirt and started touching him. Tears filled his beautiful eye's and his once vibrate emerald started to darken and lose it's color.

"...Tsuzuki..."

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THANKS 4 READING

Special thanks to What-About-Jacob, ladyaffirmed, and Peacock Queen for the reviews :) thanks so much guys


	6. Chapter 6 Scared

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!!! Song used is Three days grace-scared

* * *

At night I hear it creeping  
At night I feel it move  
I'll never sleep here anymore

I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew  
I wake up screaming  
It's all because of you

So real these voices in my head  
When it comes back you won't be  
Scared and lonely  
You won't be scared, you won't be  
You won't be scared and lonely  
You won't be scared you won't be lonely

I know there's something out there  
I think I hear it move  
I've never felt like this before  
I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew  
I wake up screaming  
It's all because of you

* * *

Hisoka awoke to something cool running down his cheek. His eye's slowly opened and he was face to face with another man. He looked to be in his mid twenties and had a broad build, much bigger than Hisoka's feminine frame. His tanned skin contrasted with his dirty white hair and then Hisoka froze. He had piercing yellow predatory eye's and a long scar ran from his left eyebrow down to his cheek and along his neck and stopped at his collarbone. But at closer inspection that was one of many scars. Hisoka felt uneasy as a strange emotion came from the man and for some reason the teen couldn't figure it out. He seemed different than normal people and Hisoka felt a little frightened by the man. Then a large hand came up to his face and Hisoka screamed pushing the man away and pushed himself back into what he assumed was a wall. He breathed in heavily trying to calm himself and stared at the man. He sat merely feet away from him on his feet crouched down on the floor.

"So..." , The man said in a deep baritone voice "Your Muraki's new plaything."

Hisoka looked up offended but kept quiet not wanting to say anything to get into a fight. He looked around the room and noticed they were in a square cell with windows for walls. He could see the operating table near the outside of the cell and shivered. He didn't want to remember what happened anymore and looked away. There was nothing in the small cell really, just a double bed in the corner. This meant Hisoka would be sleeping on the floor.

Then the man started to move closer and Hisoka backed further into the wall away from him.

"Jittery little thing aren't you." he laughed and smiled showing canine fangs on his upper and bottom row of teeth. The youth's eye's widened and he wanted out of the cell immediately."What is he?!?"

"What's your name?" the man asked sitting down and crossing one leg over the other.

Hisoka hesitated and looked up at the man and then looked away but he didn't want to upset the man.

"H...Hi,Hisoka..." He answered timidly.

"Hisoka" the man repeated "interesting so your the one he's talked about."

Hisoka looked up confused and watched the man stand and walk over closer to him. He backed up into a corner and felt his heart speed up as the man kneeled down in front of him.

"I'm Drake" he purred running a finger down the teen's jawline, his lust becoming evident. "Your a pretty kid. One of Muraki's better one's. I can see why he's so fond of you."

Hisoka felt his body start to tremble and he whimpered.

"Please stop" he begged as his empathy picked up on the evil emotion.

"You know I saw what he did to you on that table." Drake whispered into the shinigami's ear and the blonde froze. "I heard every scream you made and every cry of agony from him pushing into you. Saw that face flushed red and your tiny hands clutching onto his shoulders_―_"

"STOP IT!!!", Hisoka screamed putting hands over his ears and his head on his knee's. "Stop..." he cried and felt tears roll down his face.

Drake looked at him confused and then it came to him.

"Oh I see, your the shinigami and the empath. The one he likes to torture all the time." Drake smirked

"Well welcome to the club little one."

Hisoka looked up at the scars and stitches on the man's arms. Such ugly reminders of Muraki but then again Hisoka would take those over a rape and curse any day. Drake smiled showing his teeth and began to talk while leering at Hisoka.

"The fun has finally started for me."

Then strong hands pinned the youth to the wall and he cried out as claws drove into his skin and drew blood. Drake watched the dark liquid run down the ivory skin and licked the trail clean.

"Mmmm you are delicious" he laughed and ran his tongue down the empath's arm.

Hisoka shivered and struggled against the strong grip. He was so weak from the experiment and earlier rape, he also hadn't eaten since he was taken. The regeneration really drained his energy and he remember Tatsumi saying that a shinigami's power could only work for so long before exhaustion. That scared Hisoka because he didn't want to die again. He feared what waited for him after death, not Heaven nor hell but an unknown place. That is what scared him, somewhere were he would be all alone and have to fend for himself. He hated to admit it but he really did depend on others for protection. He was a very independent person but he was weak and was so use to Tsuzuki saving him and protecting him. He loved it but never let on to anyone that he needed them. "Maybe they won't come they have no reason. Why would they come for someone that always yelled at them or someone that was always angry and quiet." Tears filled the youth's eye's and he let then fall. "No that what he wants me to think. He wants me to lose hope and surrender to him...but I won't not to him and not to Drake. I have to fight." Hisoka clutched his hands into fists and kicked his legs. "STOP IT!"

An energy blast came from the teen and pushed the man off him. Drake yelped in surprise and landed hard on the other side of the cell.

"What's this now?" Drake questioned looking at the burns on his arms. He looked up at Hisoka and then his confusion faded. "This must be your empathy using it's powers. To protect you."

Hisoka pushed himself into the wall as Drake stood and began walking closer to the teen.

"Ya know I don't take rejection well." He said glaring at Hisoka.

"St, stay back!", Hisoka said trying to hide the fear in his voice.

Drake smirked and raised a powerful hand.

"Time for a punishment, you've been bad little empath. " he said his yellow eye's darkening.

Hisoka eye's widened and he turned away and braced himself for the blow. When it didn't come Hisoka slowly opened his eye's and looked up.

"Never even heard you walk in, doctor." Drake said through gritted teeth to Muraki who was standing behind him and holding his upheld wrist.

Hisoka slowly looked up and didn't know whether to be thankful for Muraki stopping Drake's blow or be fearful of the man's presence. He wished it was Tsuzuki but now at the time it was to much to ask.

"What did I tell you about toying with new specimens?" Muraki said tightening his grip on the man's wrist.

"I know, I know don't touch them and I know" he said rolling his eye's "you said not to touch the blonde."

Muraki shoved the man forward and he hit the wall. Drake turned around and glared at the man in pure hatred.

"Remember this, touch the kid and you'll be severely punished."

Hisoka watched Drake ball his hand into a fist in anger but then back away in defeat. Muraki turned to him and Hisoka felt his face flush in fear. But to his surprise the man kneeled down and gently picked up his wrist and watched the deep cut from Drake's nail heal. The regeneration was beginning to slow down.

"You can't stand to see him hurt by anyone other than you can you?" Drake laughed laying down on the bed.

Muraki ignored the man and made sure Hisoka's other wounded wrist healed. "I don't understand?" Hisoka thought as the man pulled him up but then Muraki kissed him hard.

Hisoka tried pulling away but couldn't in Muraki's strong grip. He whimpered as the man forced his tongue into his mouth and he heard Drake snarl. Arms came around his small body and pulled him close to the pale man. He broke the kiss and Hisoka coughed and felt sick. All he could feel was angry and possessive emotions. They were so strong that the teen felt as if he might faint. Then Muraki leaned down and bit down hard on the teen's neck. Hisoka stiffened and opened his mouth in a silent scream. He breathed in hard and felt the skin on his neck break. Muraki's painfully dull teeth retracted and he gently sucked and licked the wound clean. He smiled at the dark bruise that was already beginning to form on the youth's ivory skin.

"Now you see Drake this is the difference between me and you. You are the filthy experiment who only gets what I want him to and I am the one in charge, the person who always gets what he wants."

"More like your a manipulative bastard that _takes_ whatever the fuck he wants!" Drake snarled and Muraki turned still holding Hisoka to his chest.

"Oh yes I forgot about him. Your still so upset about losing your dear sweet Micah aren't you?"

Drake eye's flared red and he charged the man in white.

"ARGH! I KILL YOU!"

"Right" Muraki laughed pulling out a remote and clicking a button.

After the button was pressed the man dropped to his knee's and groaned in pain behind clutched teeth.

"What happened?" Hisoka thought confused and saw that Drake was holding his head. "what did Muraki do to him?why is he in so much pain?"

"Bastard..."

"Now behave yourself in front of our guest or I'll have to start getting serious with my punishments." Muraki warned and lead Hisoka towards the door of the cell leaving Drake on the floor. "oh and Drake" the doctor said turning at the door. "and remember this is_** mine.**_"

**MINE**

_POSSESSION_

**DOLL**

_...HISOKA.._

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Thanks 4 reading

R&R ^^


	7. Chapter 7 SOS Anything But Love

_I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Song used- SOS (Anything but Love) by Apocalyptica

* * *

_

Bound to your side  
I'm trapped in silence  
Just a possession  
Is the sex or only violence  
That feeds your obsession?

You send me to a broken state  
Where I can take the pain  
Just long enough  
That I am numb  
That I just disappear

So go on, infect me  
Go on and scare me to death  
Tell me I asked for it  
Tell me I'd never forget  
You could give me anything but love  
Anything but love  


* * *

""A thirteen year old Hisoka slowly climbed out of a small window from the basement were he had been kept a prisoner for so long. He just wanted to feel the cool night air on his skin and feel like he was free if only for a couple minutes. No matter how much he didn't want to go back to his "home" he knew he had to because he had no where else to go. The whole town knew he was different and everyone had their own version of what kind of monster he was.

_He pulled himself up and stood on the damp ground for the first time in years. His bare feet chilled quickly but he didn't care. It felt so good to finally be outside and not behind bars. He started walking through the sakura orchid not really knowing why and where he was going. He usually would have never did this but he couldn't sleep and pacing in his cell had never worked and he couldn't block out his family's thoughts. _

_The teen was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a women gasp. He looked up and saw a man and a woman standing close underneath a tall pink sakura tree. The youth started turning away when he thought that he had walked in a tender moment but the he collapsed to the ground when he felt an evil and overpowering emotion. He looked up and saw the man raise a knife high above the woman's head and then plunged it deep into his chest."" _

Hisoka was lead out of the cell and was somewhat happy when Muraki let go of him and only held onto his wrist. He was pulled out of the laboratory and the teen was surprised to see a luxurious hallway with Dark blue walls and tall paintings of angels and other random beautiful art pieces. Then he was a tall window and saw the clear blue sky outside. Clouds drifted carelessly by the window without a care in the world and Hisoka felt his heart long for freedom and long to see......

"Are you hungry?" the man asked surprising Hisoka even more.

_Does it feel good to deny?  
Hurt me with nothing  
Some sort of sick satisfaction  
You get from mind fucking_

Oh stripped down to my naked core  
The darkest corners of my mind are yours  
That's where you live  
That's where you breathe  


The blonde didn't know how to react to the question. Was he being serious or just playing another game? He stared at the man and tried to respond but couldn't. He still feared this man so much that it really pained him to see kindness from him but in the end he knew it would all be taken away with him. He was cruel and relentless and that was the only side Hisoka knew. If their was another side he didn't care to know it kind or not. He didn't want to get to know him he just wanted away from him. When Hisoka didn't answer the man turned to face him and the youth felt annoyance come from the man. Hisoka's eye's widened and he jerked his wrist away afraid of Muraki's next move.

"You haven't eaten since I brought you here so you must be hungry." the man stated answering his own question. "follow me and we'll have supper."

Hisoka cautiously followed the man not wanting to get to close or set him off by disobeying him. They walked in silence to a large dining room with a table set with beautiful dishes that Hisoka didn't even see when he was alive. There was everything from chicken to salad on the table. All sorts of breads and butters and other things Hisoka didn't even know what some of it was and when the smell came to his senses he felt his stomach growl. He looked up and saw Muraki with a chair pulled out and beckoned for him to sit down. The blonde swallowed and felt nervous what was all this leading to. But he walked over and sat down his primal needs overpowering his mind. Muraki sat on the other side of the table and began eating. Hisoka watched the man carefully making sure to take food that only he had eaten. He still had to be careful the food could easily have something in it and he didn't touch his water scared of it being drugged.

"So Doll have you enjoyed your stay or would you rather be moved to a room rather than the laboratory?" he asked taking a sip of his red wine.

Hisoka looked at the man confused. "Is he serious or is he just trying to break the silence?" the blonde didn't respond not knowing what to say nor how to react.

"I know your scared kid but try and pick out the greater of two evils. Either the cell with a man that you'll be alone with all the time. A man that's much stronger than you and feasts on blood. Or stay in the house with me. I am trying to reach out and apologize to you. Since you will be staying for eternity we might as well settle the bad blood between us and let bygones be bygones. No matter how many times I have hurt you I always want you back in my arms, I do care about you bouya. My ways of expressing myself are just a little different than most." Muraki explained and Hisoka watched him afraid of what was happening. He didn't want to make up and be friends, in his eye's this man was a monster and that is all he ever would be. "But you can agree and we can be as happy as we can be or you can disagree and suffer the consequences."

Hisoka eye's widened knowing he no longer had a choice and Muraki raised his wine glass.

"To us..."

_So go on, infect me  
Go on and scare me to death  
Dare me to leave you  
Tell me I'd never forget  
You could give me anything but love  
Anything but love_

Without any faith  
Without any light  
Condemn me to live  
Condemn me to lie  
Inside I am dead

Hisoka felt his chest tighten and breathing became difficult. He feared what was coming. "Will I ever Tsuzuki and the others again or am I trapped in this life with Muraki now." The room started to spin and he felt his body sway out of the chair. Everything was going out of control and Hisoka hit the floor hard and black out.

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THANKS FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you AYU4EVER and WHAT-ABOUT-JACOB for the last couple of reviews and everyone else (HUGS for all)


	8. Chapter 8 Those Nights

_I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!! YNM IS NOT MINE!!!!!!!!! Song used is Those Nights By Skillet

* * *

_

Stay up late and we'd talk all night  
In a dark room lit by the tv light  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive

We'd listen to the radio play all night  
Didn't want to go home to another fight  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive

I remember when  
We used to drive  
Anywhere but her  
As long as we'd forget our lives  
We were so young and confused that we didn't know  
To laugh or cry  
Those nights were ours  
They will live and never die  
Together we'd stand forever  
Remember when we'd  


* * *

A screa

_m echoed out through the night and a red moon hung over a bright sakura tree. A woman lay bloody and bleeding on the ground and her blood soaked into the ground feeding the mysterious tree and making the tree's petals grow even more pink. A sadistic laugh rang out and a glimmering knife dropped to the ground... _

_Hisoka sighed and turned the TV off not interested in the Saturday night horror movie. Let alone one about a killer that raped and feed his victims to a demonic sakura tree. The youth shivered as memories came crashing down on him. He simply tried shaking it off and went to the kitchen to start his daily ritual of cooking supper and eating alone. He turned on the CD player near the stove and clicked play not really knowing what was inside. He was pleased when Tarja Turunen's My little Phoenix started to play. He reached underneath his counter and grabbed a skillet and was startled when he heard the doorbell ring. He looked over setting the pan down and walked over to the door and looked into the peep hole and saw a warped version of Tsuzuki on the other side. Without hesitation Hisoka opened the door and let the man in._

"_Hi, what are you doing here Tsuzuki?"_

_The Chocolate haired man smiled slipping his coat off and pulled a bag from behind his back._

"_I thought I'd bring supper over. You seemed a little drained at work and I thought not cooking supper would be a treat for you."_

_The youth's eye's were wide in surprise and they quickly softened and he nodded._

"_Thank you Tsuzuki", he said taking the bag and welcomed the man into his kitchen and set his table for two. _

_They ate in silence something Hisoka had become accustom to and the youth would look up from his food a couple of times to see violet eye's staring him. Tsuzuki would quickly look the other way and Hisoka felt his stomach knot with every look. He really did love the man but he just couldn't tell him. He was scared of rejection and destroying their friendship. Afraid of finding out what Tsuzuki really thought of him. They finished and Hisoka invited Tsuzuki into the living room to watch some TV. They each sat one opposite ends of the couch and hisoka had a pillow close to his chest. He let Tsuzuki pick what to watch and he decided on random movie that was on. A love story. During the movie Hisoka would blush every time someone got kissed or they moved into more adult scenes. He didn't realize it but Tsuzuki stared at him for the majority of the movie and thought he was cute. He just couldn't take his eye's away from the youth and wished he could put his feelings into words. _

_The night went on and about half way during the movie Hisoka fell asleep. Tsuzuki covered him up with a blanket making sure he wouldn't get a cold. He gave the youth a gentle kiss on the forehead and whispered **I Love You **into the sleeping youths ear. Then without another sound he left the apartment leaving his partner behind to never know what he just said._

Hisoka awoke under soft silk sheets and a gentle hand rubbing through his hair. He tensed as he felt concern, anticipation, and something warm but strange. His heavy eyelids slowly opened,

"...Tsuzuki..."

Once his eye's were opened he saw a pale hand on his forehead. His mind felt foggy and heavy and his eye's slowly focused.

"...Tsu...zuki..."

His green eye's focused on the man leaning over him and it all came crashing back to him. He whimpered and felt his whole body strain.

"No, not Mr. Tsuzuki bouya" Muraki said gently brushing the teen's hair behind his ear. "what a pity."

"Wh, where am I?' Hisoka said not really realizing it until his body tensed up and tightened making him cry out. The last thing he remember was sitting in the dining room and words he could no longer decipher. Then nothing just darkness...

"You are in my quarters. I thought recovery here would be less stressful on you than in the lab with Drake.

Hisoka shivered and whimpered when Muraki put a hand up to his head. Pain shot through his head and the teen cried out.

"It seems your body is too weak and even remaining in this form is becoming difficult for it to sustain. If you don't eat and drink something then you will die."

Hisoka's eye's widened in fear and he held back tears. He felt the bed move and then a tray was placed over his body. The teen could smell food but he couldn't place what it was.

"It's time to eat Bouya."

Muraki took a spoon and fed Hisoka a soup with meat and vegetables in it. The youth simply laid there unable to protest or move. He felt so weak and as the food entered his stomach he could feel his starving and drained body eating it up quickly. Then he felt tired and fell back into sleep.

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Thanks so much for the reviews guys much love and thanks so much for reading!


	9. Chapter 9 I Will Not Bow

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!! THANKS 4 ALL THE REVIEWS GUYS!!!!!!!! song used is by Breaking Benjamin- I Will not Bow

* * *

Watch the end from dying eyes, now the dark is taking over  
Show me where forever dies  
Take the fall and run to heaven  
All is lost again but I'm not giving in

I will not bow, I will not break  
I will shut the world away  
I will not fall, I will not fade

* * *

Tsuzuki sat in his apartment staring dully at the TV. He tried to focus on the television show but his thoughts kept going back to Hisoka. "where are you Hisoka? Are you okay? Are you really sleeping in your apartment due to a fever? Why can't I get you out of my head?" The brunette shook his head and placed it in his hands. "If only I could tell you this feelings."

Tsuzuki sighed leaning back into his sofa and let his head fall against the cushion. "My chest feels so sore... is it my heart..." he wondered. "...Hisoka..."

A memory came to him and a picture flashed in front of him. It was the memory when the team had went to the beach and the sun was setting and him, Hisoka, Yuma, and Saya where walking along the shore. Yuma and Saya had walked ahead and Hisoka had taken his shoe's off and rolled his jeans up over his knee's. Tsuzuki remembers watching him as he walked into the water with his shoe's hanging loosely on his finger's in the hand behind his back. He looked so beautiful and that was the day Tsuzuki realized just how much he did love the blonde.

Ever since he couldn't get the boy out of his head and he did everything in his power to make him safe. But for some reason he felt as if he had failed Hisoka. He didn't want to believe it but something was telling him that something was wrong and that Hisoka was in danger.

Hisoka awoke to a cool hand rubbing his stomach and then he felt a sting in his abdomen. He eye's slowly fluttered open and he saw Muraki sitting in the bed with a empty syringe in his hand. His eye's widened in fear and he quickly sat up, thankful that his strength had returned.

"Wha!What are you doing?!?", He stammered pulling his shirt back down.

The man looked up while putting the syringe down and smiled,

"Just giving you some medicine to help you, my doll."

Hisoka glared at the man not believing a word he said and flinched when he saw a hand come up beside his face. The blonde tensed expecting to be stuck but the hand simply cupped his cheek. Hisoka found himself wishing that he had been hit as Muraki's long fingers moved over his cheek and down his neck. He jerked his head away and heard Muraki sigh.

"Why do you still defy me?", Muraki asked standing up his voice rising a little.

Hisoka cringed as anger flooded his empathy. He backed away from the man terrified.

"I think I have been tolerant enough, and kind enough to you, haven't I not. Now ANSWER ME why will you not obey!"

"I WILL NEVER OBEY A MONSTER LIKE YOU!" Hisoka screamed back stunning the man. " All you have ever done is bring pain and sorrow to me, my friends, and my LIFE. You have never done anything that will make me ever want to be with you or even have a casual conversation with you! I have someone that cares about me and they will never hurt me the way you have."

"Then where is that person now?"

Hisoka's eye's widened and tears came to them. He put a hand over his mouth and let out a sob. "B,because you took them away. You made me pick between letting him live or letting him die.... YOUR A MONS_―._"

Muraki raised a hand and slapped the crying youth across the face. The force of the blow sent the teen tumbling down to the floor. He landed with a thud and stayed on the cold floor. His heart pounded in his chest and his breathing was harsh. The youth trembled as Muraki stepped closer and then his hair was grabbed and the blonde was pulled up to his knees. He winced and tried to stay in control of his emotion.

"I'm aware of what I've done to you boy, So I believe I don't need it dictated back!" Muraki's words were cold and clear.

Hisoka gave in and nodded,

"I understand"

A smile pulled at Muraki's lips and he pulled the youth into his arms. Hisoka didn't fight fearing the consequences. They sat like that on the bed for what seemed like hours to Hisoka. Muraki's cold hands going up and down his back and through his hair. Then Hisoka was moved so his back was against the man's chest and he was facing the room instead of the man.

Then Hisoka felt cold lips on his neck and he tensed and tried to get away but Muraki pulled him back further into him so his feet dangled over the bed, unable to reach the floor or anything solid any longer. Large hands traveled down his body and cupped his most private area. Hisoka's breath stopped and he tried struggling but Muraki held him still.

"St,Stop!", Hisoka whimpered as his neither regions started reacting to Muraki's touch.

"It feels good doesn't it bouya?" The man purred in his ear and licked the shell.

Hisoka shook his head and slammed back against the man hoping to knock him out. But Muraki merely pulled the boy closer and let no space be between him and the empath. Hisoka felt emotions un- beholding to Muraki's character. Desire instead of lust and something he couldn't place. His body wasn't only reacting to Muraki's hand but also to his emotions. His empathy seemed to be trying to copy and sync with the other man's emotions. No matter how much Hisoka didn't want it. His body felt hot and everything seemed to cause him pleasure. Even his own clothing rubbing his skin made him want to be touched. Hisoka was surprised because he had never had a good experience with any form of sex and had never even masturbated. And yet now his body was begging for release.

Then he remember the syringe and the medicine.

"Wha, what did you give me."

Hisoka was answered by Muraki unbuttoning his jeans and wrapping his hand around his flaccid member. Hisoka arched helplessly into the man behind him as pleasure overpowered his system. He cried out in pain at first but the hand on him quickly turned that cry to pleasure. His head fell back onto the man's shoulder as his body took control and his mind was put to rest. He moaned in agony as the stroking became more and more heated. Muraki licked down the teens shoulders and slowly laid him down on his back. Hisoka moaned but whimpered trying with all his might to fight the drug in his system. "STOPITSTOPIT!!!STOPITSTOPIT!!!STOPITSTOPIT!!!" his mind screamed but his body had given in to the pleasure and he couldn't stop. The drug was too strong and he was too weak emotionally.

Muraki gently pushed hair from the youth's face and smiled,

"That face is sin itself my dear." he purred going down his body and then Hisoka's eye's shot opened and he screamed.

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Chapters are going to be a little slower being updated, sorry guys but i had it all written up till here now i actually have to start writing in it again.


	10. Chapter 10 So Far Away

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!! u know the drill Song used So Far Away By Staind

* * *

This is my life  
Its not what it was before  
All these feelings Ive shared  
And these are my dreams  
That Id never lived before  
Somebody shake me  
Cause I, I must be sleeping

Now that we're here,  
It's so far away  
All the struggle we thought was in vain  
All the mistakes,  
One life contained  
They all finally start to go away  
Now that we're here its so far away  
And I feel like I can face the day  
I can forgive and Im not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words  
That Ive never said before  
I think Im doing ok  
And this is the smile  
That Ive never shown before

Somebody shake me  
Cause I, I must be sleeping

* * *

"AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!"

Downstairs in the clear cell Drake sat against the wall with his hands over his ears. He could hear the teens screams of agony and felt sorry for ever trying to hurt the blonde. He merely wanted to get back at Muraki for everything he had done to him. But now he would never think about hurting the empath, it was obvious that the had been through enough.

"NNOO STTOOPP!!!!!!!"

Drake cringed as another scream ran out. Then a thought came to him that brought tears to his gold eye's.

""_Drake!! Drake!! Follow me!", a small powder pink haired boy yelled as he ran down the pier to the edge were he could see the water, his long hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. "Look we might be able to see some of the fish!"_

"_I don't think so Micah, it almost midnight, it's too dark to see any fish now.", he said walking closer to wear the tiny five foot tall eighteen year old stood. _

_No one would have ever thought that the boy was a day over fourteen, he looked so young and he acted like he was in elementary school. Drake didn't mind the youth at all though he loved him with all his heart and soul. They had meet when Micah was sixteen and Drake was twenty five. Drake had been picking up a few grocery's when he saw the youth in the supermarket. At sixteen he was even more breath taking but at first sight Drake would have never thought he would have gotten into a long lasting relationship with the boy. In the store he had skinny jeans on that framed his small legs but had a baggy oversized hoodie on that didn't seem like him at all. Drake was just about ready to go up to the counter when he heard a small timid voice behind him._

"_um...excuse me sir..."_

_Drake turned to see the boy and it looked as if he was about to cry._

"_Yes, can I help you."_

_Micah nodded "I've never been in here before and I was wondering if you could tell me where to find somethings?"_

_Drake nodded and helped the teen. At the time the boy was so withdrawn and Drake questioned if the child was lost. He left the boy and went out to his car to put his food away. He glanced up when heard a husky voice say "there you are"._

_He saw a tall overweight man walk up to the pink haired boy and roughly grab his arm not offering to take the bags that were making the boys arms ache and shake. _

"_You took almost an hour what the hell was the hold up?", he snarled._

_The youth cringed lowering his head,_

"_I,I'm s,sorry I didn't know where to find a,anything."_

_The man jerked him towards a large SUV and knocked the teen to the ground in the process. The grocery's fell and landed on the snow covered ground. Micah yelped in pain as the man slapped him hard across the face and snarled at him to pick up the grocery's. _

"_Hey!" _

_Drake couldn't take it anymore and walked over to the pair. The fat man glared at Drake who had dark hair and ice blue eyes at the time. _

"_WHAT!?"_

"_Stop beating the poor child."_

"_Or what!" the man growled picking Micah up by the hair. The teen winced but didn't make a sound. _

_Drake clutched his hand into a fist and fought the urge to punch the man. _

"_He is mine and as far as I am concerned this is none of your business."_

_Drake had no choice but to leave and his heart ached when he saw the teen look down as if disappointed. _

_That night Drake couldn't sleep his thought kept going back to the small pink haired boy. He got up restless and decided to go for a walk. Little did he know the walk would change his life. He walked down to the old pier and saw cars parked a long the board walk. He ignored them and walked out to the edge and stared into the dark uneasy waters. His thoughts going back to the boy. "Why can't I get him out of my head? I only met him for a couple seconds and now he is all I can think about." He sighed running his hand through his dark locks. "I've fallen hard for someone I won't even see again."_

_Drake was brought out of his thoughts by a scream and loud footsteps coming down the pier towards him. He turned and immediately felt small trembling arms wrap around his waist. He looked down and saw those unforgettable pink strands of hair. _

"_P,please help me..." the boy whispered in a voice filled with fear. _

"_he doesn't recognize me", Drake thought as he nodded. _

"_Th, there coming."_

_Drake looked up and saw three people running down the docks towards them. He put a protective arm over the teen and pulled the boy behind him._

"_Stay here", Drake said and saw the bruises all over the boy and his silvery tear tracks._

_The three me stopped and stared at Drake and the boy. _

"_Micah Mr. Andrews wants you to come back." one of them said in the darkness. The child's grip tightened on Drakes arm and he coward into the man. "MICAH."_

"_Hey! I think it's obvious he doesn't want to go back, so back off!" The men stared at the dark haired man stunned. "If he doesn't want to go back leave him alone and I think he's old enough to make his own decisions."_

"_That maybe so stranger but that boy belongs to me." A man said stepping closer to the pair. _

_Drake recognized him as the man that had struck Micah at the store. _

"_I bought him and so he is MINE!"_

"_What?Bought him?"_

_The man smiled and stepped even closer. _

"_Yes he was sold to me by a trader and that's all you have to know." Drake's eye's widened when he saw the man pull a gun out from his breast pocket "now I'll tell you again give me back what is mine!"_

_Drake smirked taking the boy into his arms and backed up._

"_You want him" he mocked backing up to the edge of the pier. "Then come and get him!"_

_With that he jumped back and sent them both plummeting into the water below._

Drake smiled at the memory of Micah but didn't notice the tears that were running down his face. "oh god Micah

...I'm sorry..."

* * *

Thanks 4 the reviews guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Chapter 11 All These Lives

I am sooo sorry for not updating sooner but it's been a crazy couple of weeks and sometimes as i'm sure you all know life can suck.

This chapter isn't very good sorry but i wanted to get something out to you guys and i promise i'll try to get the next chapter up soon.

Sorry guys

~yukitsukamoon~

I OWN NOTHING YNM IS NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!!!! song used all these lives by Daughtry

* * *

Doesn't come down when she calls,  
"It's time for breakfast."  
Momma can't get down those halls  
Fast enough to see  
Glass is sprayed across the floor  
From the broken window.  
She can't breathe anymore.  
Can't deny what we know.

They're gonna find you, just believe.  
You're not a person; you're a disease.

All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
Broken homes from separation.  
Don't you know it's violation?  
It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
Never gonna let you take my world from me.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
But you ain't comin' in.  
You ain't comin' in.

Posters hung on building walls  
Of missing faces.  
Months go by without the cause,  
The clues, or traces.

They're gonna find you, just believe.  
You're not a person; you're a disease.

* * *

Hisoka shot up shaking and heard his own scream of fear echo throughout the darkness. His chest heaved with each breath and he felt disoriented and confused. Once he calmed himself down he realized he was on his side with a pale arm draped over him. His eye's widened and he tried moving but pain shot up his backside and he moaned in pain. His naked body felt sore and Hisoka closed his eye's tight knowing all to well what happened. Tears came to his eye's and the blonde started to cry uncontrollable. He just wanted all of this to end. The rapes, the suffering, the pain, and the loneliness. He wanted to held and loved normally not like this anymore. "...Tsuzuki ...", He knew Tsuzuki would make the pain stop and that his warm embrace would chase away the darkness and loneliness. He couldn't do it alone any more, he needed to be saved.

He felt the bed shift and the arm around him tightened slightly. His eye's widened when lips kissed the back of his neck and pain shot through him as his empathy picked up on the emotions, he couldn't even decipher anymore. He held his head with a shaking hand and cried harder. He couldn't hold back the emotion anymore. Couldn't hide it from Muraki any longer.

"Ssshh. It's okay," Muraki whispered into the youths ear. Then Hisoka felt as if something snapped in him and he found the courage to talk back.

"N...n,no it's not", Hisoka cried feeling his body shake even more. "You drug me, you humiliate me, take advantage of me, confuse me, and put my friends in danger. It's not okay...",The bed shifted and Muraki was sitting up towering over the youth. " I can't take it anymore...this is too much...just kill me... Please kill me...I can't take it anymore..."

Muraki stared at the crying teen and smiled while gently cupping his face.

"Don't say such things after last night."

"All you did and all you ever do is satisfy your own needs!", Hisoka snapped slapping the hand away and sitting up trying to ignore the pain in his body. "You do it, no matter how much it hurts anyone else as long as you get off it's fine!"

Muraki smirked sitting back,

"You climaxed under my touch...didn't you?", Muraki mocked getting up and pulling on a pair of silk pajama pants. Hisoka cruel humor surfacing.

"That's a bodily reaction and you drugged me!!", Hisoka screeched gripping the sheets.

Muraki glared at the youth before throwing some clothing at him.

"Get dressed breakfast is ready."

Hisoka was about to prolong the fight but was cut off.

"I suggest you do it now!"

Hisoka obeyed and felt a strange feeling in his stomach. He pulled his jeans and shirt on and felt another harsh pain in his abdomen. He failed to see the satisfied smile on Muraki's face when he put his hand to his stomach. The pain faded and the blonde followed Muraki out the door. They walked in a tense silence towards the kitchen and Hisoka's attention was brought to a window when he felt sunlight hit his face. He looked outside and felt a pain in his chest. "Freedom...", he thought. He watched the gentle breeze outside twist and turn the tree branches, breaking off leaves and sending then twirling into the sky. The beautiful blue sky and the clouds carelessly drifting was too much. Hisoka put a hand up to the window and felt his body start to shake. "I need to get out."

Then a hand came up to Hisoka's on the window and trapped his fingers in the their own.

"What are you wishing for, Doll?" Muraki said amused.

Hisoka stared at the long fingers overlapping his. "Their taking away my freedom..my life..." the teen tensed and jerked his hand away while backing away from Muraki. Then without really realizing it he broke into a desperate run. His mind was racing and everything seemed unreal. He didn't even bother looking behind him because he knew the man was after him and that he would punished for his disobedience. But he felt like he had to try. He had to try and get out, to get away and get back to...

"NO STOP!!!"

Hisoka jumped and crashed into a window. The brittle glass broke under the force and under his weight. He felt the shards of glass pierce his skin but he didn't care. He was outside of the house, even if it was only for a minute, he was free. He felt the cool breeze in his hair and breathed in the crisp air. It was the best feeling in the world at that moment. Then he hit the ground with a sickening crack and reality crashed back into him. He knew he had to run if he wanted to keep his freedom, he had to fight. With trembling limbs he lifted himself up and tried to stand but couldn't. Pain shot through his body and he felt glass drive further into his legs. Tears of frustration came to the youths eyes as he desperately tried to make his limbs work the way he wanted them too. He was so close but so far way from what he wanted. From what he needed. Hisoka collapsed onto the ground and cried out in misery. "Damn it! Damn it!" He screamed in his mind. "Please help me. God please make it stop..."

Muraki ran out of the house to were the young empath lay. Blood soaking through his clothes and pieces of glass embedded in his pale skin. His body lay motionless on the lush grass and his dull tear stained eye's stared out longing for freedom that he couldn't grasp. The man kneeled down and check for a pulse. To his relief there was a beat and he gently brushed hair from the youths face.

"I'm sorry bouya your to precious of a specimen to let go now.", Muraki said picking up the youth and he heading towards his lab. He looked down at the youths abdomen and was thankful not many shards hit his stomach.

"Thank goodness."

* * *

THANKS 4 READING


	12. Chapter 12 Arms of Sorrow

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!! Song Arms of Sorrow By Killswitch Engage.. I had a really hard time picking a song for this chapter so if anyone had a better one let me know. I'm not all that happy with this one lol

* * *

Imprisoned, inside this mind  
hiding behind the empty smiles  
so simple (delinquish)  
isn't much made  
crawling back into the dark

running, always running, into the distance  
stop me before I bleed, again  
the echos of my voice  
follow me down  
the shadows I cast  
follow me down

deeper i'm falling  
into the arms of sorrow  
building decending  
into the arms of sorrow

* * *

Drake sat in the clear cell and restlessly tapped his foot on the floor. Then his sensitive ears picked up on someone coming down the stairs into the lab. He stood up and watched the door as it opened. His eye's widened when he saw Muraki holding Hisoka's bloody body in his arms. Drake backed up as a memory flashed into his mind. He saw the man carrying a boy shorter than Hisoka. His pale skin marred with burns and scraps. Long pale pink hair that was once so bright was now matted with mud and blood.

"Mi...cah..."

Drake watched the man lay the unconscious teen down on the metal table and begin to clean and dress the gashes that littered the empath's pale body. "What happened to him?" Drake thought and then he saw the white haired man take a pair of tweezers and take a large piece of glass from his forearm. "glass...did he...try to escape?"

_""...Hey...Drake?..." a small Micah said cuddling up closer to a drowsy Drake in the cold clear cell. _

"_yeah?"_

"_Do you think we'll ever get out of here?"_

_Drake's eye's snapped opened and he looked down at Micah sadly. He wrapped his strong arms around Micah's smaller body and pulled him closer to his own body. He gently ran his fingers through Micah's long now upbraided hair, something he knew the teen liked and something that would make him feel calm and safe. His sinus's burned as his eye's filled with water when he felt Micah's tears land silently on his chest. Small trembling hands clutched at Drake's shirt and Micah moved closer into the man, wanting to feel safe for once._

"_We'll get out of here, Micah...I promise..." he said tightening his grip on the teen. _

"Hey!"

Drake was brought out of his thoughts when Muraki came into the cell holding the teen, that was now wrapped up in blanket. Drake only glared not answering the man.

"I'm leaving the bouya here because I can't bring him upstairs because I have business to attend to in town. I know you will take good care of him if his condition gets worse."

Drake still merely stared at the man and watched him lay the empath down on the bed. He never took his eye's off the man as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a syringe. Drake watched the white haired manic inject a strange pink colored liquid into the youths abdomen. He tensed as another memory came back to him.

He saw Muraki standing over his beloved Micah while injecting the same substance into the boys stomach. The teen winced in pain and begged the man to stop as he was tied down to the operating table. The man smirked and shook his head, ""No no little Micah you a break through in my research. I can't just let you go now."" Then a scream rang out and Drake was brought back to reality holding her ears. After he stopped hearing Micah's cries he looked up to see the man leaving the cell.

"oh and remember Drake...Don't touch the kid!" With that Muraki left knowing his word would be good enough to keep Drake at bay.

Drake stared at the teen sympathetically and tried not to think of Micah. But failed. The two of them were so different but every time he looked at Hisoka he saw Micah. He saw the beautiful pure smile and vibrant silver eye's. The long hair that fit his personality so well...but he also saw the pain. The pained and tear stained face that Micah had everyday of his life with Mr. Anderson and Muraki. The scared body that showed just how much the teen could take but also how much he'd gone through to live. Drake shook his head trying to get the pink haired boy out of his head. He missed Micah so much and the pain of being separated from him was driving him to insanity. He just felt like he would give anything in the world to see Micah and have him smile again one a last time.

Hisoka awoke with a moan of pain as his skin burned and healed. His shinigami powers taking control to make sure his body was in a good condition. His heavy eyelids slowly opened and he was blinded by bright lights. The teen winced closing his eye's and then felt his empathy picking up on despair and sadness. He reopened his eye's and slowly sat up holding his head. "where am I?" He thought while observing his surroundings. "the cell? But why?" Then Hisoka remembered jumping out the window. He grimaced and looked over a Drake. The man's predatory eye's on him while he sat against the clear wall of the cell.

"You alright kid?" Drake asked standing up and Hisoka didn't know how to feel towards the man. There last encounter wasn't a good one but Hisoka could no longer feel any bad intentions coming from the man and for some reason that made Hisoka feel safe when he was near the man.

Hisoka slowly nodded but then doubled over in pain. He let out a strangled cry as his stomach started to pain. Drake ran over to the blonde and put a hand on his back.

"What's wrong?!"

Hisoka tried telling him but all that came out was another cry. He held his abdomen and felt as if it was on fire. His body began to shake as the pain got more intense and Drake was brought back into another flashback.

_""AH! DRAKE IT HURTS!" Micah cried as the man held him trying to comfort him to the best of his abilities. The youth had been taken away by Muraki about an hour ago and when he got back Micah said he injected something into his stomach and that the pain kept getting worse and more and more intense. Now it was making the youth scream and cry and Drake didn't know what to do. "Make it stop..." Micah pleaded as the man rocked the tiny man back and forth.""_

Drake's eye's widened and he stepped back from the blonde.

"It...it's the same... the same experiment...as Micah's..."

* * *

Thanks 4 reading

Please R&R


	13. Chapter 13 Say Goodbye

Another short one sorry guys but i have some serious writers block and a ten page essay that is due soon. I want to write but can't lol. So the next chapter may be a while i'll try not to make it too long but i can't promise anything.

Thanks so much to;

EMIZ, Arioch the fallen angel, and EmilahdaChibi for the reviews. I love getting them and reading them.

~Yukitsukamoon

I OWN NOTHING!! Song used is Say Goodbye by Skillet

* * *

Things are changing  
It seems strange and  
I need to figure this out  
You've got your life  
I got mine  
But you're all I cared about  
Yesterday we were laughing  
Today I'm left here asking  
Where has all the time gone now  
I'm left alone somehow  
Growing up and getting older  
I don't want to believe it's over

Don't say goodbye  
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight  
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I  
And although we knew  
This time would come for me and you  
Don't say anything tonight  
If you're gonna say goodbye

Do you remember  
In December  
How we swore we'd never change  
Even though you're leaving  
That our feelings  
Would always stay the same  
I wish we could be laughing  
Instead I'm standing here asking  
Do we have to end this now  
Can we make it last somehow  
We both know what we've gotta say, not today  
Cause I don't wanna leave this way

* * *

Tsuzuki walked down the narrow hallway that lead to Hisoka's apartment. He knew he should have been at work trying to save people from the supernatural but he couldn't take it anymore. Tatsumi, Watari and the Chief told him to wait but he couldn't, he needed to know if Hisoka was alright. He walked up to the apartment and knocked with a quivering hand. "Please answer Hisoka." It had been nearly week and Hisoka was still supposedly "sick". Tsuzuki would have come to check up on the teen days ago but a case forced him to go to Germany.

Everything in his soul wanted Hisoka to answer the door and give him a scowl for waking him up. He would give anything to hear his voice and see him by his side again. To his disappointment and worry the door stayed silent and didn't move. Tsuzuki drew in a shaky breath and teleported into the blonde's apartment expecting the worse. He slowly opened his eye's not realizing he had shut them and looked at the room. Everything seemed fine. The living room and kitchen were in clean and normal condition. Everything seemed normal.

"Hisoka..." he said out loud wishing so much that it would be answered. But the room stayed silent.

Tsuzuki walked further into the apartment and came across Hisoka's bed that had no sheets. "that's odd" Tsuzuki thought walking closer to the bed, "Hisoka always makes his bed, he's such a neat freak." Then something shiny caught his eye on the headboard. The brunette stepped closer and then felt his foot hit something soft on the floor. He looked down to see something white with dark red on it. His eye's widened and his heart felt as if it stopped. With shaking hands Tsuzuki picked up the fabric and realized they were Hisoka's sheets with blood all over them. He dropped the sheets and backed up in terror.

"N,no...NO!!!" he cried with a hand up to his mouth "please no..."

Tsuzuki stumbled back and hit the dining room table. He allowed himself to sink down to the floor and he tried keeping tears back. "I,I couldn't protect him...i knew it....i knew something was wrong." He buried his face in his hands and felt his body shake as millions of questions ran through his head. "Who did this? Why? Where is he? Is he safe? Is is alive?" Tsuzuki sat there for what seemed like hours not knowing what to do. All trails would have been cold by now and this apartment didn't have camera's. He felt so helpless he couldn't save or even think of something to save his partner. He clutched his shaking hand into a fist and slammed it back against the table leg. He turned around in surprise when he felt something scrap against his skin.

Tsuzuki gasped when he saw a small piece of paper tied to one of the four table legs. He quickly grabbed the paper and carefully unfolded it with his shaking hands. He almost cried out when he recognized the hand writing as Hisoka's. He took a deep breath and began to read.

**Dear Tsuzuki;**

**I'm sorry I have to leave without saying anything but this for the best...I promise.**

Tsuzuki noticed stains on the paper and wondered, "are these your tears...Hisoka?"

**I just really wanted to say good bye in some shape or form. I couldn't stand to leave you hanging without any signs. Don't worry about me I'll be fine and _PLEASE_ just forget about me...I'm not worth it. **

**...and Tsuzuki I really wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me... I wish I could repay you somehow but now it's too late.**

**I love you, Tsuzuki. **

**So much**

**please live on and forget.**

**Hisoka.**

Tsuzuki felt his body shake and tremble as he finished the note. "Hisoka... why? What happened to make you do this?... " The sun shifted and a shadow was cast in Tsuzuki's direction. He looked up and saw the object casting the shadow and felt his blood run cold. It was a doll, a porcelain doll. "No not Muraki...Please god no..."

Tsuzuki grabbed the doll and ran out of the apartment heading towards the ministry.

"Please Hisoka. Please don't die. Hang on!"


	14. Chapter 14 Truth

I know i said i wasn't going to update for a while but i just got something and had to write. This chapter is a tad longer and I hope you all like it. The next chapter may not be up for a while, maybe.  
Thanks so much for the Reviews

~YUKITSUKAMOON

Song used is Truth by Seether

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YNM is not mine

* * *

If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?  
Though I'm closer to wrong  
I'm no further from right  
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me  
Convinced on the inside, you're so much more than me, yeah  
No there's nothing you say that can salvage the lie  
But I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised  
And now I'm deprived of my conscience and something's got to give  
Deprived of my conscience  
This all belongs to me, yeah

I'm beaten down again, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you  
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you

The deception you show is your own parasite  
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like  
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me  
Convincd on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah  
I'm beaten down

* * *

Hisoka woke up to a another dull ache in his stomach, he groaned and rolled over onto his side trying to get the ache to go away or subside.

"Try to stay still kid, your over the worse part now, physically anyway." Drake's deep baritone voice explained.

Hisoka slowly sat up and looked up at the man. His tall and muscular body no longer intimidating to him.

"What's happening to me?"

Drake's eye's widened and he looked away sadly.

"It's an experiment..."

"What kind of experiment?!?"

Drake turned away and walked to the other side of the cell. He looked back and saw the fearful and confused expression on the youth's face and flinched.

""_Drake...What's wrong with me? What did he do to me?!?! Please make it stop.""_

Drake's hands tightened to fists at the memory knowing it was all Muraki's doing. He took a deep breath and turned to Hisoka.

"He did the same experiment on Micah but the situation was much different than yours. He didn't care what happened to Micah just as long as he got the experiment to work. It didn't matter how much pain or how much suffering he put Micah through, just as long as the final product was his."

Hisoka's eye's widened. ""...The final product..."

"What happened to Micah?"

Drake turned to him with tears in his eye's and began Micah's and his own painful story.

""_Happy Anniversary Drake!!!", Micah cried as the tall dark haired man walked into their tiny one bedroom apartment._

_Drake looked at the smaller man lovingly and walked over and hugged him tight. _

"_Thank you Micah, Happy Anniversary next year will be even better I know it."_

_The silver eyed boy blushed and buried his face in the man's chest._

"_I love you" the boy whispered._

_Drake smiled running his hands through the long hair that cascaded down the youth's narrow back. He loved the teen so much and never wanted to lose him. They had went through hell and Drake was never going to let that happen to the boy again. He gently took the boys face in his hand and leaned down to kiss the boy's soft plush lips. Micah's eye's slowly closed and he wrapped his arms around Drake's neck while deepening the kiss. Drake pulled the youth closer and gently ran a hand down his back. Micah moaned at the sensation and his blush darkened to a deep red as their tongues meshed together. He had done this so many times and ten times worse with Mr. Anderson but Drake was so much different. This man didn't force him into anything, he didn't beat him or humiliate him. He just loved him and didn't ask for anything in return. Micah's eye's opened and he stared up at the peaceful face that was Drake. _

_Then a faint smell came to Micah's senses and his eye's widened. He quickly pulled away and made a frantic run for the kitchen. _

"_Oh no supper!"_

_Drake laughed lightly and set his things down on the sofa. He worked fifty hours a week to support them but he didn't mind as long as he had Micah to come home to, he would be the happiest man in the world.""_

"We were so in love. Nothing else mattered as long as we had each other, we were happy..." Drake trailed off sitting down on the bed and putting his forearms on his thighs.

Hisoka looked down and felt the intense sadness and despair from Drake's emotions. He tensed and put a hand up to his head trying to put up his barriers to hear Drake's story. He knew the story was going to be painful for Drake to tell but he wanted to hear and by the feel of it Drake wanted to tell.

"It had been about a year and a half of us living together and Micah's eighteenth birthday was coming up the next week...

"" _Snow fell down heavily from the sky and covered the icy roads. Cars slowed and swerved to avoid crashing and skidding off the road. The snow hadn't let up for hours and it didn't look like it was going to stop any time soon. _

_Drake drove carefully around a sharp turn and felt the back of his car drift and he did his best to straighten the car. Micah sat in the passengers seat hanging onto the door for dear life. _

"_We should stop this is to dangerous."_

"_Micah I would but were in the middle of no where and if we leave the car running all night It'll run out of gas and we'll freeze. Sorry baby but we gotta keep going."_

_Micah nodded and tried to not look scared as more cars came down the road. They drove cautiously for almost an hour and the storm just kept getting worse. Drake was starting to get frustrated with the situation and wished they could just pull over. Micah had fallen asleep in his seat and was curled up by the window. _

_Drake sighed and shook his head trying to focus on the snow covered road. They were nearing a turn and Drake slowed making sure to be careful. Unfortunately the driver on the other side of the road wasn't and hit them full force on the nose of his car. _

"_SHIT!" Drake screamed as the force hit him and sent his car spinning. Glass and metal flew everywhere and the tires skidded and screeched on the ice. Drake panicked because all he could see was white so he hit the brakes as hard as he could. He felt the car jerk and go into the ditch and roll onto it's roof. Cold air came in through the shattered windows and then only did Drake feel the glass and metal that was in his skin. _

"_Micah!" He cried unbuckling his seat belt and crawling over the the unconscious youth. "Shit, Micah?!?!"_

_He untangled the youth and tried to see desperately in the dark. _

"_MICAH!, Still no response from the boy and Drake felt helpless,"Come on say something," _

_Somehow Drake managed to get both of them out of the mangled car and onto the side of the road. He saw no sign of the other car and cursed the driver to hell. Thankfully he was alright except for a couple scraps and cuts but Micah wasn't moving. His head had a deep gash in the side from hitting it on the broken windshield and his body was cold. Drake quickly removed his jacket and wrapped the pink haired man in it. _

"_Come on Micah...open your eye's." he pleaded and gently shook the youth."Please wake up..." _

_Then car lights came upon them and Drake looked up to see a car pulling over by them. It was to dark to make it out but it was long and had blue headlights. He heard the door open and then a deep voice. _

_"Hello I'm Kazutaka Muraki, I'm a doctor are you okay?", The doctor was tall and wore a white suit. He had a piecing silver eye and another that was hidden by white and silver hair. _

_Drake's eye's lit up and he stood on shaky legs,_

"_Y,yes p,please M,Micah has a head injury" he stammered out._

"_Is his neck broken?" Drake's face paled at the thought. He had moved him so much and if his neck was broken he probably made it worse. _

"_Move him to my car it's warmer their." the doctor ordered and Drake obeyed gently laying him down in the passenger's seat that was reclined all the way back. _

_Drake stepped back and let the man look at Micah. He preyed nothing was seriously wrong and wished they would have just pulled over like Micah wanted too. He watched the man look Micah over touching his neck carefully and gently poking at his stomach and chest. Drake waited patiently for what seemed like hours to him but according to the clock in the car it had only been ten minutes. Muraki carefully put stitches in Micah's head wound and then gently wrapped the wound. Finally after twenty minutes the doctor stood and turned to Drake. _

"_He's alright other than a couple of scraps and bruises and his head injury isn't that serious. He needs to rest for a while and regain his strength."_

_Drake let out the breath that he had been holding_

"_Thank you so much ,Doctor."_

_The man smiled and nodded his appreciation._

"_Now what about you?"_

"_Oh don't worry about me I'm fine, I just wanted to make sure Micah was alright he means a lot to me."_

_Muraki nodded and looked up at the sky, the snow hadn't let up and it was getting heavier. _

"_This storm is going to get worse before it gets any better, so why don't you two come and rest at my house, it's just down the road and you can call who ever you need in the morning."_

_Drake nodded thankful for the man's kindness._

"_Thank you that would be perfect, Doctor."_

_Muraki smiled, "Yes, it would be wouldn't it?"_

"Little did I know agreeing to his kindness would make me lose everything. My decision made me lose Micah..."

All Hisoka could do was listen as Drake told him everything and soon he would know what Muraki was going to do with him.

* * *

THANKS FOR READING


	15. Chapter 15 Bittersweet

So sorry for the slow update and the total crappiness that is this chapter. I wanted to get something out and it is really short, sorry. Next chapter will be much better i promise, secrets will be revealed and it will be better trust me lol.

I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!!YNM IS NOT MINE!!!! song used it Bittersweet by Within temptation.

* * *

If I tell you  
Will you listen?  
Will you stay?  
Will you be here forever?  
Never go away?

Never thought things would change  
Hold me tight  
Please don't say again  
That you have to go

A bitter thought  
I had it all  
But I just let it go  
Oh, this silence  
It's so violent  
Since your`re gone

All my thoughts are with you forever  
Until the day we'll be back together  
I will be waiting for you

If I had told you  
You would have listened  
You had stayed  
You would be here forever  
Never went away  
It would never have been the same

* * *

"The next morning I woke up..."

""_Drake's eye's slowly peeled open and he noticed he wasn't in the room he was shown to last night." he sat up and looked around confused. _

_He saw clear walls and outside of them there was lab equipment. _

"_What the hell?", he stood up and walked to one of the walls and placed a hand on it. "where am I, and Micah!"_

_Drake spun around and looked frantically for his lover but he was no where in sight. His eye's darted around the empty room and his heart began to race. "What's going on?" _

"_MICAH!", He yelled frantically pounding on the wall. "Micah where are you?!?!"_

"I didn't see him for months or anyone...I would fall asleep and wake to find a food tray on the floor occasionally. I screamed for him everyday with no answer and I feared what I had done for so long. I knew the doctor had something to do with it... but I had forgotten his name after four months."

Drake shifted uncomfortably and looked up at the ceiling tears brimming his yellow eye's.

"Then I noticed the changes in me. My hair started growing white and my eye's went from blue to green and then final the gold they are now. I felt like a monster... for agreeing to come here and letting Micah get into so much danger... but then five months after arriving I got to see him..."

""_Downstairs."_

_Drake sat up on the bed when he heard a voice, the doctor. But then two sets of feet could be heard. Whatever the doctor had done to him his senses had heightened and now he missed nothing. He got up and went over to the edge of the glass and stared a the closed door that had stayed that way for months. He stared at it waiting for it to finally open, after too many days alone and away from Micah. He needed someone or something! Anything! Just to know he was still alive and not dead. Not in hell because now he couldn't tell._

_His golden eye's never left the door and then finally after what seemed like hours the knob started to turn. Drake felt his body start to shake with anticipation and nerves. The door creaked and slowly opened. His eye's stayed focused on the door and watched it open completely. He saw the doctor step into the room and then felt his knee's go weak. He let out an agonizing yelp when he laid eye's on Micah. Alive he was alive. But the boy was different His once bright and happy face was now set in a frown and his beautiful face was bruised and tear stained. A pain went through Drake's chest and he couldn't catch his breath. "this is my fault...oh god". The man sank to his knee's and stared at the teen who hadn't looked up at all yet. "...Micah..." he whispered as tears ran down his face. "MICAH!" _

_He couldn't even begin to imagine what the small man had went through and hated himself for putting him here. He looked worse than when he was with Mr. Anderson. Then the boy slowly looked up at the doctor as if asking for direction on what to do. Drake watched the man lean down to the youths level and speak into his ear. Micah nodded and lowered his head submissively. Drake wished he could break out of the cell and hug and kiss the youth. He missed him so much all he wanted to do was hold him and make all the pain go away. Then to his surprise the teen turned to the cell and was lead over to it. Drake stood and watched the doctor lead the pink haired boy over to the cell. The door opened and the teen was pushed in. Only once he was in the cell did Micah look up at Drake. They stared at each other as if seeing each other for the first time and Drake saw the tears forming in the youth's eye's. Micah took a deep breath and then his knee's gave way. Drake was there in seconds and caught the youth in his strong arms. _

_Small quivering arms snaked around Drake's body and held tight. Drake tightened his grip on the teen and slowly lowered to the floor unable to stand any longer. Tears streamed down their faces and all they could do was cry. The separation had been too much for Drake and knowing that the doctor hurt his love made him angry and sad. _

"_I'm so sorry Micah...", he tried forming more words but couldn't. It hurt him so much to know that Micah was hurt because of him. Micah tried responding but only broke down and cried into the man's chest. "it's......not.......not your..................fault..." Micah cried between sobs. _

"All we could do was cry...hours went by and then Micah had finally calmed and my emotions were back in check."

_Micah sat curled into Drake's chest, while Drake sat against a wall holding him tightly. _

"_Micah are you alright? Did he hurt you." the man asked frantically making Micah look into his eye's as he asked._

_Micah looked down and felt tears fill his eye's as he remembered everything that had happened to him in the passing months. The doctors words echoed in his mind and his touch made the boy sick and he put a hand over his mouth as a sob escaped his throat. Drake's eye's widened in fear and he stared down at the bruised teen. He saw the marks running down his neck and knew what had happened with Micah uttering a word. All he could do was hold the youth tight and let him cry. _

"_I'm so sorry Micah this is all my fault." _Sorry again guys!! thanks for reading :)

* * *

~Yukitsukamoon


	16. Chapter 16 Heaven

_THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS GUYS!!! HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!! _

_I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!! song used is Bryan Adam's Heaven._

* * *

Oh - thinking about all our younger years  
There was only you and me  
We were young and wild and free

Now nothing can take you away from me  
We've been down that road before  
But that's over now  
You keep me coming back for more

Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lying here in my arms  
I'm finding it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone  
Who will turn your world around  
Bring you up when you're feeling down

Yeah nothing could change what you mean to me  
Oh there's lots that I could say  
But just hold me now  
Cause our love will light the way

* * *

Hisoka stared at Drake feeling his sorrow and guilt. He felt so sorry him and could only wait and listen to see what had happened to Micah.

"Micah and I finally got a hold of ourselves after a while and that's when he told me..." Drake said trailing off.

Hisoka stared at the man and knew this had something to do with the experiment and Hisoka didn't know if he wanted to know. He knew it was bad because Micah had the same experiment on him but...Muraki was also treating him differently. The teen took and deep breath and swallowed.

"What did he tell you?"

"_Drake..."_

"_yeah"_

"_I'm ready to tell you what happened to me..."_

_Drake sat up alert and ready, Micah had been having stomach pains and screaming at night because of the burning inside him as he put it. The youth had told him that the man had beaten and raped him but there was something else. Something Micah wouldn't tell. Drake hugged the teen close and gently kissed his head._

"_He...he's been experimenting on me like he has to you."_

_Drake's grip tightened and he rubbed a hand up and down the youth's back, trying his best to comfort him. _

"_He's been injecting me with stuff that's making me change...on the inside..." tears started to form in the youths eye's and he hugged Drake tight. "He'd inject me with it and then he'd rape me every time. It made me hurt so bad, every time he came in with the needle I'd run and fight but it never worked. I was too weak and he'd always catch me and make me submit. But right before he brought me down here he told what he was doing..." Micah stopped when a sob escaped his throat and tears began to stream down his face. "he...he's...experimenting on me... to...to try...and get me...me...p... pregnant."_

_Drake's eye's went wide and he couldn't help but to gasp in shock. Micah buried his face in the man's shirt and cried uncontrollably. _

"_Pregnant?!?! Are your sure, Micah...I mean your a, your a man."_

"_I know that's what I thought too but he showed me what the injections have done to me and I have a womb." he cried clutching at Drake's arms, "He said once I become pregnant he'd have to do surgery to get the baby out and that he was going to make sure it was his", Drake hugged the teen close "and that's why he kept raping me after the injections."_

"_oh my god Micah...I'm so sorry"_

"Pregnant!?!" Hisoka gasped and felt his whole world start to spin.

"Yeah", Drake nodded sadly "and I suspect he is doing the same thing to you. The injections change your body and then he sleeps with you so he can try to impregnate you. I'm pretty sure the injections are eggs but I can't be sure."

Hisoka felt his body start to shake and saw Drake look up at him with sad eye's. He locked eye's with the man and shook his head in disbelief. "no...NO!" he cried burying his face in his hands and fell to his knee's. Drake came over and gently put a hand on Hisoka's back.

"He's turning me into a monster... a freak..." he cried clutching his hands into fists. "but why?! WHY does he want a baby? Let alone from a man..." then Hisoka gasped in pain as he felt Drake's sadness and his stress smash together. Tears filled his eye's and he cried out not able to take it anymore. It was all to much and then final his eye's rolled back and he fainted into Drake's arms.

_Months had pasted and Micah was given an injection about twice a week and the teen's mental and physical state was wasting away fast. He couldn't take the physical and sexually abuse from Muraki and being away from Drake was making him insane with no way to cope. They got to see each other occasionally when ever Muraki went out of the house or had business to attend to and couldn't watch the teen in case he tried to escape. Micah had lost weight and was even smaller than before all he had was skin and bones on him. Drake couldn't stand it and wished to god everyday that something would happen to save Micah. He didn't care if he got out or not just as long as Micah was alright. He would be happy._

_Tonight Micah was curled up against Drake and trembling. This is how it usually was Micah would come into the cell and just lay with Drake not saying a word just laying against him with the man's arms around him. Drake knew all he wanted was to feel safe if only for a minute. Then the teen shifted and looked into the man's eye's._

_"Drake..." Micah sobbed trying to talk but couldn't stop his tears._

"_yes"_

"_I can't take it anymore...Please...make the pain stop..."_

_Drake stared at the teen not understanding exactly what he wanted done. He hugged him closer and gently kissed his head trying to calm him in his frantic state. Then the teen brought his head up and kissed Drake. The kiss was needy and Drake could tell the teen was desperate. His small arms wrapped around the man and he leaned into his love. They parted and Drake stared down into the teen's tear filled eye's. He no longer saw the bright energetic child but a shell of a being that was once human but was broken to many times to remember and now was just simply alive._

"_Please Drake if......I can have your baby...I'd be happy... but only if it's yours." he sniffed between tears. "don't make me have that monsters experiment!" he cried into the man's chest. "I want it to be our baby that we can never have...please...Drake...I love you..."_

_Drake stared at Micah not knowing what to do. He knew now they didn't stand a chance of getting out alive and no matter how much he didn't want to admit it. He knew Micah was going to die by his own hand or Muraki's soon. _

"_Just one last night...and we'll be together forever no matter what he does after tonight...please Drake..."_

_Drake felt tears run down his own face and he leaned down and gently kissed those rose petal lips for the last time._

_The next day Micah was gone when Drake awoke and he feared what he knew was going to happen. Months passed and Micah never came back. But almost a year passed and Drake awoke to find a picture on the floor of the cell one morning. He picked it up and looked at it hard for a long time. Then the black, gray and white made since. It was Micah's baby. There baby the man broke down in the cell and cried. At the bottom of the picture was Micah's hand writing and it said._

"_Thank you Drake I love you so much."_

_Muraki had killed the baby when he found it wasn't his and Micah's death soon followed. Drake was left alone and never to know exactly what happened to his love. But all he knew was that Micah was killed by the man and that his baby was there love child. Deep down it made Drake happy that he could fulfill Micah's final wish but he missed the boy so much and wished he could have been with him in his final moments. _

"_Someday Micah...We will meet again...and our love will still be there no matter what."_


	17. Chapter 17 Time For Miracles

Well This Chapter is a little longer than most and i hope you all enjoy it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWS!!!!! I love to read them and thanks so much guys.

I OWn NOTHING!!!! Except for Drake and Micah. Song used is Adam Lambert Time For Miracles.

Enjoy ^^

* * *

It's late at night and I can't sleep  
Missing you just runs too deep  
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile

Every kiss I can't forget  
This aching heart ain't broken yet  
Oh God I wish I could make you see  
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying  
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that  
Maybe it's time for miracles  
Cuz I ain't giving up on love  
You know that  
Maybe it's time for miracles  
Cuz I ain't giving up on love  
No I ain't giving up on us

I just wanna be with you  
Cuz living is so hard to do  
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget  
This aching heart ain't broken yet  
Oh God I wish I could make you see  
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying  
So nothing can stop me from trying

* * *

Tsuzuki sat in the ministry with his head in his hands. He had shown Watari the doll and he was testing it for finger prints or something like that. He didn't really know, he was to worried to know what the hell was going on anymore. His knee's bounced up and down and too many thoughts ran through his head. "Hisoka...Where are you...are you alright??? What has Muraki done to you to make you do this?" The chocolate haired man just wanted everything to go back to normal. To have a tired Hisoka walk in every morning carrying a tea for himself and a chocolate milk with whip cream for him. To have him scold him for not working and then hit him for being stupid. To watch the teen work secretly from his desk and have his heart skip a beat every time the blonde would wince in pain or have a fever he refused to miss work for.

"Well I found two finger prints on the doll." Watari said stepping over to where Tsuzuki sat.

"And..." Tsuzuki asked desperately.

" and One is Bon's and the other is Muraki's."

Tsuzuki took a deep breath and stood up.

"We have to go find him. Hisoka is with that sadistic bastard and he's doing god only knows what to him."

"Calm down Tsuzuki."

"CALM DOWN!" Tsuzuki all but screamed "Hisoka is in the hands of his rapist and killer and you want me to calm down!"

Watari winced and tried hiding behind his clipboard from Tsuzuki's anger.

"I'm sorry Tsuzuki but we can't do anything it's been a while and all leads are cold by now and we have no idea where either of them could be."

"So were just going to give up? Just like that?"

"Tsuzuki I didn't say that Bon needs to be found but we have no way of finding him right now."

Tsuzuki slowly nodded as realization hit him hard. It was true they had no idea where he was. Not even one clue as to where they were, they had believed that Muraki was gone but now they had his finger print on a doll that was in the missing blonde's apartment.

"What are we going to do Watari?"

Watari shook his head sadly not knowing what to say to the man.

"all that we can do...but right now Tsuzuki that isn't much."

The next couple of weeks consisted of Tsuzuki looking through Hisoka's apartment trying to find anything that could lead him to his partner. But he came up empty. Then he started to think, "If there is no way of finding Hisoka maybe we should try and find Muraki." He started searching through town records to see if he lived any where in the city but came up empty. The chocolate haired man began looking through newspapers to see any strange disappearances and anything that seemed liked something Muraki would do. "All I need is a strange murder, a disappearance anything." Tsuzuki thought in frustration underneath piles of newspapers. He lifted the next yellowing stack and sighed as he began looking through it. Only seeing sport highlights and something about a little girl singing the anthem to the world. Tsuzuki threw the paper down and pushed most of the others off his desk in fury. "Over a hundred paper and nothing?" He thought feeling totally helpless putting his head down on the desk and glanced up at a clock that read 2:46 A.M. Then before he could think anymore he feel asleep.

_"TSUZUKI!!!!" Tsuzuki sat up startled and realized he wasn't at his desk anymore. He was standing in a field over looking a large old white mansion. "TSUZUKI!!" the frantic cry came again and Tsuzuki felt as if it took his breath away. The scream was so terror filled and desperate that he couldn't even begin to imagine what that soul was going through. "Tsuzuki!!" the voice came again but weaker this time. "please help me!" Then his violet eye's widened the voice was Hisoka. The shinigami began running towards the house but it only seemed to get farther away. The house soon seemed to be running with Tsuzuki and with every step he made it would take three more back. "TSUZUKI!!! NO STOP!!!!" _

_Then to the brunette's horror the house disappeared and all that was left was a field of pink flowers blowing gently in the wind. _

"_Hisoka..."_

_Then a small boy appeared beside Tsuzuki and spoke in a soft voice._

_"This is were you stand... But don't give up you will find him..."_

_Tsuzuki turned to look at the person beside him but all he saw was a pink braid of hair before it disappeared into thin air. _

"_Don't give up, your his only hope..." The voice echoed _

Tsuzuki awoke with a start and felt his heart beating fast. The vision of the house and the sounds of the screams imprinted in his mind. He breathed heavily trying to calm down but all he could remember and hear was the dream.

""_TSUZUKI!!!""_

""_This is where you stand""_

""_Don't give up""_

""_STOP!!!""_

"_Your his only hope""_

""_PLEASE""_

A chill ran up Tsuzuki's spin as he remembered Hisoka's screams and the helpless feeling he felt when he couldn't reach the house.

"I need to find him."

Determined Tsuzuki picked up the paper nearest to him and read the head line.

**Car Crash Outside of Town!!**

**No driver found assumed to be dead.**

Hisoka felt his body ache and he moaned in pain as he opened his eye's. He put a hand to his head and felt sick. Everything had been way to emotional. Drake's heartbreaking story and figuring out Muraki was trying to make him pregnant was to much for his empathy. He slowly sat up and saw Drake sitting cross legged on the floor.

"How are you doing Kid?"

Hisoka nodded sadly,

"I've been better."

"Just to give you a head's up, the doctor is home."

Hisoka nodded again trying to not show any sign of fear.

"He's coming" Drake said standing up glaring at the door. While Hisoka sat on the bed to scared to move. No matter how much he wanted to be brave and defiant all the time like Drake, he just couldn't. The doctor still scared him to death sometimes and he couldn't stand up to his killer that easily all the time. The door opened and the white man walked into the room. He looked up a Drake and smiled.

"Happy to see me, Drake?"

Drake's eye's narrowed but he said nothing to the man, which only made Muraki smirk.

"Come to the door of the cell, doll"

Hisoka flinched at the mention of his pet name but didn't move. The doctor looked up surprised Hisoka didn't listen and walked over to the cell door and opened it.

"Come here boy, or do I have to punish you again to show you who is really in charge here?"

The blonde looked up and was about to get up when Drake stepped in front him. His emerald eye's widened in surprise and Drake began to speak.

"I won't let you destroy another person's life with your sick mind. Let alone someone that has done nothing to deserve this."

Muraki only stared at the man his smirk never leaving his face.

"What did I tell you. Don't take things that are not yours correct?"

"He isn't a possession for your pleasure or for you to do your sick experiments on." Drake hissed at the man.

"That is where you are wrong. He has been mine for years. Too many to count, right bouya." Hisoka shivered backing into the wall on the bed. "Ever since you were at that beautifully ripe age of thirteen. You have been mine and you always will be." Muraki's eye narrowed onto Drake and he spoke in a low deadly voice. "Now step aside."

Drake widened his stance ready to fight and refusing to move. Which only made the doctor laugh.

"Have it you way."

He looked up at the two and then Drake lunged at Muraki. The doctor smirked and pulled out a knife. Drake pulled back and stared down the man waiting for him to make a move. Then without realizing it Hisoka jumped up and grabbed onto Muraki's arms.

"NO!! don't hurt him. I'll come just don't hurt him."

Muraki smiled and put a hand on the teen's head.

"Good boy."

Then a he was forced forward with Muraki's body and slammed against Drake. He heard the man gasped in pain and Muraki's snicker. With wide eye's he looked up as a warm substance poured onto his back. He turned his head and saw Drake with the knife deep in his chest. Blood pouring from the wound and from the man's mouth. He coughed up more blood and fell to the floor. Hisoka screamed in agony and dropped to the floor by Drake. Tears burned his eye's his body shook uncontrollably. "it's all my fault. He died because of me. Oh god."

Muraki jerked Hisoka back and lifted him to his feet. The teen's eye's never left the man on the floor as a pool of blood slowly got bigger and bigger. Hisoka shook his head and pushed Muraki back.  
"WHY?!", he screamed "he did nothing. I told you I would come!"

"He was just a test subject and needed to be disposed of soon anyway."

Hisoka gasped and back away,

"Your... your a monster!"

Drake laid on the floor feeling his life slipping away and not really caring. He knew he would die sooner or later. He just wished it could have been with Micah. Tears slowly slipped from his heavy eye's lids and they closed.

"_Drake..."_

He opened his eye's lids slowly and felt a warmth on his cheek. Not his tears but something else. With half lidded eye's he looked up and saw the familiar pink hair he hadn't seen in years. He felt the warmth on his cheek gently stroke his face and a small hand take his.

"_Let's go Drake, I've been waiting for so long and so has your son."_

A smile graced the man's lips and his eye's closed sending him to place he had dreamed of for so long.

* * *

R&R ^^


	18. Chapter 18 Never Be The Same

I am sssooo sorry guys. Please don't hate me T_T

Story is nearing the end

I OWN NOTHING song used RED- Never be the Same

P.S

Sorry if there are any grammer errors

~yukitsukamon

* * *

I know you, who are you now?  
Look into my eyes if you can't remember  
Do you remember? Oh

I can see, I can still find  
you're the only voice my heart can recognize  
But I can't hear you now, yeah

I'll never be the same I'm caught inside  
the memories of promises of yesterdays  
and I belong to you  
I just can't walk away 'cuz after loving you  
I can never be the same

And how can I pretend to never  
know you like it was all a dream? No  
I know I'll never forget the way I always felt  
with you beside me, and how you loved me then, yeah

I'll never be the same I'm caught inside  
the memories of promises of yesterdays  
and I belong to you  
I just can't walk away 'cuz after loving you  
I can never be the same

You led me here, then I watched you disappear  
You left this emptiness inside and I can't turn back time

No! Stay! Nothing compares to you  
nothing compares to you  
I can't let you go  
can't let you go  
I can't let go

I can never be the same,  
not after loving you,  
not after loving you,  
No

I'll never be the same I'm caught inside  
the memories of promises of yesterdays  
and I belong to you  
I just can't walk away 'cuz after loving you  
I can never be the same

I can never be the same  
I will never be the same  
Woah woah woah woah woah  
I just can't walk away  
No I can't walk away from you

* * *

Hisoka stayed against the wall afraid to look at the doctor or the dead man on the floor. His knee's felt weak and he collapsed onto the floor. His body shook and tears filled his eye's as Drake's blood soaked into his jean's.

"Come on Bouya." Muraki commanded stepping over to the crying teen. "There's no need to cry over a lab rat."

Then a bunch of memories came rushing into Hisoka's head. One's of Muraki, Drake, the visions of Micah he had seen, and Tsuzuki. All they're emotions began smashing together and Hisoka felt his whole body tense and pain began shooting through his chest. He held his chest and tried catching his breath. The pain got worse as breathing became more and more impossible. Sweat broke out all over his body and Hisoka couldn't even think straight anymore.

Muraki bent down and touched the teen's shoulder. He heard the teen scream and then a green light engulfed him and all he could feel was pain. The doctor cried out backing away and collapsed to the floor holding his burnt face. The light dimmed and Muraki looked over at the teen. He was now laying on the floor unconscious and only a thin trail of dark green tears ran down his cheek. Muraki painstakingly stood up and walked over to Hisoka. He looked down at his hand and saw the raw skin that was burned severely. He kneeled down and gently touched the strange colored tears. A tingling started in his fingers and then the skin healed as the green seeped into his skin. A smiled spread across his face and he stood up ignoring the pain and got equipment from the lab and put the substance into a beaker.

"Perfect."

Tsuzuki burst into the Chiefs office out of breath with a newspaper and many other documents in his arms. The elderly man looked up surprised at his workers entrance.

"Tsuzuki? What's wrong?", He asked surprised.

"Chief...I think...I may know where Hisoka is." Tsuzuki panted.

The chiefs expression saddened. The kid had been missing for so long now and he had never seen a trace of the Kurosaki or Muraki. It was like they just vanished and he feared that Tsuzuki may just be putting things together that would only make sense in his head. He knew he wanted to see Hisoka back and safe the same as everyone else but he couldn't see anything helping now. The kid obviously left willingly because if he didn't they would have had more clues and even the tiniest trace of him. He knew Kurosaki was smart and that he wouldn't go without a fight in less he had no other choice especially if it was with the man he feared the most.

"Tsuzuki..." he started but before he could finish Tsuzuki started to talk.

"I found this article in the paper about a car that crashed in a snow storm and no one was found in it. I looked into it and found that no one in the city near there died and for the person to mysteriously disappear is odd and this was around the time when Muraki had disappeared after Kyoto. What if he was the one that did it. He could have found the person before anyone else did and took them."

'Tsuzuki I know you want to find Kurosaki but this has no evidence linking Muraki to this accident. I'm sorry."

Tsuzuki's gaze dropped in disappointment and he felt hopeless. Then his eye caught a familiar name on Kanoe's desk. He grabbed the paper and his eye's widened in shock.

"Drake Karano..." he read the name and then it hit him. "Chief This...this is the man that was in the car accident in this paper.

The elder looked at Tsuzuki suspiciously and the paper he held out. He took the paper and read the article, sure enough Drake's name was found to be the owner of the car that had crashed.

"This man just died a couple hours ago Tsuzuki."

"Please Chief I'm begging you just look into this. I know this must have something to do with Muraki , I just know it."

The man sighed,

"Alright but once we find Kurosaki your going to be with him 24/7 so this never happens again."

The brunette's eye's lit up and he nodded.

"We can talk to the man before he goes into Heaven, come on we don't have much time."

The two rushed out of the office making sure to get Tatsumi they would need his shadows to locate the man's soul.

Hisoka awoke once again to the ache in his stomach and moaned in pain. He opened his heavy eye lids and saw the haze of moonlight. He looked up in his sleepy state and saw a large window in front of him that framed a large blood red moon. He immediately shot up and remembered everything, Drake's death and the pain. The blood on his clothes was gone and Hisoka looked down and saw that he was in a light green yutaka with a dark red obi. He was laying under dark sheets in Muraki's bed. His eye's widened and he flinched as memories of the night he died flashback. He saw the blood red moon and he was wearing the same clothing he was in that horrifying that night.

"Your finally up my little doll."

Hisoka's wide eye's looked in the direction of the voice and he saw the man who was now in front of the window. The red moonlight outlined his white suit and almost made Hisoka sick with fear. The man smiled and walked over to the teen and kneeled down by his prisoner. The blonde went to stand and run but bandaged hands grabbed his forearms and held him down. He looked up and saw more bandages on the man's face. He had no time to think about how the doctor had gotten his injuries, He was just simply to scared.

"Please..." Hisoka pleaded not able to take anymore."No more."

Muraki smirked and leaned in until he was inches away from the teen's ear,

"Do as I say and I promise when it is all finished I will let you go."

Hisoka looked at the doctor shocked. Half of him knew it was lie but the other side of him, the desperate side believed him. He just wanted all of this to end so badly. Tear's filled the teen's eye's and he nodded in defeat. He just couldn't fight anymore. He was to weak and emotionally shattered. All he wanted was a way to make the pain stop.

Muraki smiled when the teen's eye's seemed to dull and lose the wonderfully vibrant color they once where.

"There was that so hard." he purred running a hand up the teen's arm.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe. Hisoka just stared at the needle indifferently as the man opened his robe to expose his stomach. The needle broke his skin and the teen winced as the man injected him with his experimental drug. The syringe was discarded somewhere and the pale man returned to the bed, Hisoka didn't remember him getting up. Then the doctor straddled the teen in between his legs and arms and stared down at him.

"I know it's going to work this time." he smiled and gently ran a hand from the teen's lips to collarbone.

Hisoka closed his eye's and felt tears run down his face. The doctor watched the strange colored tears run down his face and smiled.

"Liquid empathy. The key to your strange powers."

Hisoka's eye's opened and he stared at the man's hand as he wiped away his tears and showed the green on his skin. Emerald eye's widened and he stared confused.

"This wonderful substance that you somehow produce can heal wounds and god only knows what else..." Muraki explained. "This is something that only empath's can make and it is rarely released from the body and only in special cases does it ever do anything once exposed to air." Muraki smiled and cupped the blonde's cheek. "I always knew you were special."

The man pulled away and started unwrapping his head. Hisoka watched and he shivered and tried pulling away when he saw the burned and raw face before him.

"You did this to me my little doll. You empath was trying to protect you." Muraki explained and then put the tainted green hand up to his face and rubbed the green liquid on his burn. To Hisoka's amazement the damaged tissue under the green tint healed and new smooth skin replaced it. "Amazing isn't it." The man smiled. "Just when I think your useless you show me something else that makes me want to keep you forever."

Forever rang out in Hisoka head and made his whole body tense. He began shaking his head and tried getting up but a hand wrapped around his throat and gently pushed him back into the bed. He felt his robe being opened and tried to go to another place. He couldn't fight and remember everything this time. All the teen wanted was a new place to go, away from the pain. Away from the abuse. His legs were pulled up over the man's broad chest and he blocked everything out.

Hisoka saw himself as a baby being gently rocked to sleep by his loving mother. A memory he held dear to himself. After he had turned two they had found out about his powers and no one would even look his way. Then the cell in the basement came when he was five and he stared hearing people's thought and feeling their feelings as he grew. Then one faithful night came when he was eight...

""_**I can't take it anymore...My baby is downstairs alone and I can't do anything.**"_

_Hisoka stirred from him sleep in the cold damp cell to hear his mother's thoughts. He cried out and held his head as strong emotions of sorrow and despair hit him._

" _**My beautiful baby boy, is everything that I wanted but no one wants him...and he thinks I don't either. I've tried to convince the village and his father but nothing works all they want to do is kill him**."_

_Hisoka felt tears run down his face, this was a daily occurrence to feel and hear his mother's thoughts. _

"_**I'm sorry Hisoka...My baby please forgive me**."_

_Then the boy heard something drop upstairs and his eye's widened. He couldn't feel his mother's emotions anymore or her presence. They were gone and Hisoka knew what had happened.  
"NO NO Mommy!" he cried and tried desperately to open the cage that held him. "MOMMY"S HURT SOMEONE HELP!!!!" he cried._

Later someone came down and Hisoka told them that his mother had hurt herself and sure enough when they check on her she had slit her own throat. His father blamed Hisoka for his mother's death and he was shunned even more.

Tatsumi and Tsuzuki sat in a dark room with candle's lit and a circle of sand was in the middle of the floor. They were trying to get in touch with Drake by doing a séance. They had been at it for an hour now and Tatsumi was just sitting with his eye's closed trying to locate Drake before he pasted over into the afterlife. Tsuzuki could really do nothing until the spirit came. He preyed this would give him some answers. He knew it was a long shot but he had to do something for Hisoka even if it meant doing things that didn't make a lot of sense.

Tatsumi took in a deep breath and started chanting. Tsuzuki stayed silent trying to not break the man's concentration. Then a white light came into the room only to fade into a person. Tsuzuki saw a tall built man with dark short hair and blue eye's. He looked at Tatsumi with a death glare and looked over at Tsuzuki with the same glare. Tatsumi slowly stood and bowed politely,

"Sorry to interrupt your journey to the afterlife but we need you to answer some questions. You can go once we are done."

"I'm not interested in answering your damn questions." the man snarled obviously angry.

"It won't take long I promise you." Tatsumi explained "So please just..."

"I TOLD YOU I'M NOT INTERESTED!" the spirit roared "now if you would please let me go I need to find someone."

The spirit connection started to waver and Tsuzuki stood up.

"Please we need your help to find my partner!" Tsuzuki pleaded. "He was kidnapped by a sadistic doctor and you may be his only hope. Please please help us!"

The spirit turned to the brunette and stared at him,

"You mean the kid I take it."

Both Tsuzuki's and Tatsumi's eye's widened in surprise. All the questions they were going to ask him about his accident were thrown out the window now. "Kid" could be Hisoka.

"My partner has short sandy blonde hair and green eye's. He looks to be sixteen..."  
"Yeah the kid" the man replied "Ah......his name...was......ah...Hisoka I believe but Muraki always called him some weird pet name like doll or something."

"Muraki is the name of the man we think took my partner." Tsuzuki blurted out unable to contain himself. He was so close now.

"I hope that man rots in hell for everything he's done."

"Are you willing to help us with my partner."

"I'll talk to you here but I really have to go soon."

Tatsumi and Tsuzuki decided not to argue and just get what they could from the man.

"Can you tell us where Muraki is now?"

"He is in a big white mansion off from a old road that is terrible in the winter."

"The road where you had your accident?"

Drake looked at them surprised and smiled,

"Yeah that's the one. You go about ten minutes down the road and there is a road lined with tree's and that will take you up to the mansion, it's in the middle of a meadow like field."

"Is Hisoka alright?" Tsuzuki was desperate for this question to be answered.

"I don't know."

Drake's reply stung bad for Tsuzuki and he felt his heart sink.

"He shouldn't be dead though. If that helps. The only way he would die there is if the doctor did something wrong or he did himself in. But the kid is strong I'll give him that. He's gone through a lot of shit that would have made people kill themselves. I don't know if that is a strength of his or a weakness though.

After that the spirit slowly faded away and Tsuzuki put a hand forward wanting him to come back but Tatsumi spoke.

"We have all the information we need. Let's go and get Kurosaki."

* * *

R&R


	19. Chapter 19 Far Away

Enjoy guys ^^ last chapter but their will be an epilogue.

I OWN NOTHING!! YNM IS NOT MINE!!!!! song used is Nickelback- Far away (corny i know)

* * *

This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know, you know, you know

I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
Cause you know, you know, you know

I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore

So far away  
(So far away)  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away  
(So far away)  
been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say:  
I love you  
(I love you)  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
(and I forgive you)  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe in  
Hold on to me and never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me...never let me go  
(Keep breathing)  
Hold on to me...never let me go

* * *

Hisoka lay in Muraki's bed on his side trying to breath. His body shook violently and sweat covered his body. He was curled into a tight ball and had his arms wrapped around his abdomen. He cried out in pain and felt as if the pain was taking his breath away. He arched as tears streamed down his pale and flushed cheeks. It burned in his stomach and he could taste blood in his mouth. "what's happening to me?" he thought terrified.

Muraki ran into the room alerted by the screams and seemed indifferent about the teen's pained state. He picked the teen up and brought him down into the lab. Hisoka felt the cool metal table under his back and shivered. The pain hadn't stopped but he couldn't scream anymore. Muraki soon returned with a syringe full of the thick green substance. Hisoka couldn't fight as the doctor injected him but to his relief the pain all but disappeared.

"There" Muraki said picking him back up and walking towards the cell.

Hisoka suddenly got tired and all his limbs went weak. His eyelids slowly closed and he slept. Muraki placed him in the cell and left.

""_Soka-Chan you have to be more careful", a worried Tsuzuki explained to a sick and bed ridden Hisoka. _

_The blonde had gotten sick from overworking himself in the heat and now could barely move due to heat stroke. _

"_You are allowed to take breaks you know."_

_Hisoka grumbled something and rolled onto his side._

""_Tsuzuki what are doing!" a alarmed Hisoka yelled at Tsuzuki who was standing in the middle of their office with paper everywhere. The taller of the two shrunk back from his partner's anger and began to explain._

"_Well you've been sick and I was going to do some paper work but it fell and got into my paper work and then with old and new paper work."_

_Hisoka looked at the probably hundred's of pieces of paper on the floor and sighed._

"_Baka."_

_""What a beautiful night." Tsuzuki squealed a head of his partner who could only smile at his antics. _

"_Calm down Baka, you'll miss the fireworks if you keep running around like that." _

_There was a festival tonight and fireworks were promised at the end of the night and the time was nearing and Tsuzuki insisted on taking Hisoka to see the display. The teen reluctantly agreed under the mounds of paper work they still hadn't finished. He knew if he said no that Tsuzuki would have wined and cried all night, resulting in no work getting done._

_The blonde watched the man in front of him and felt his heart flutter. He wanted so badly to tell Tsuzuki his feelings but couldn't. What if it ruined their friendship or what if Tsuzuki hated him after. Hisoka was too afraid to risk it. _

"_Soka look there they are!"_

_The teen looked up and saw a huge blue sphere and watched as more went off creating beautiful patterns in the sky only to disappear seconds later but replaced with a new one. Then he yelped in surprise when strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him backwards into a strong chest. He relaxed a little when he knew it was Tsuzuki. But still felt a little uncomfortable. _

"_Thank you so much for coming here with me Hisoka." _

"_Ah n,no problem." he stuttered out as his face went red._

"_You mean so much to me."_

_Hisoka felt his breathing become faster and then everything went black.""_

Hisoka wished he could have told Tsuzuki his feelings before all of this. But then again it would have just put him in danger. Everyone he loved was in danger as long as Muraki was around.

"Tsuzuki, I'm so sorry..."

Tsuzuki, Watari, and Tatsumi all stood in the field with the large mansion in the middle of it. Tsuzuki knew this was the house it look exactly the same as the one in his dream.

"There is a barrier up." Watari said touching the invisible wall and getting a shock. "A talisman could break it down long enough for use to get inside but that also makes us lose the advantage of surprise. Once the barrier is breached Muraki would immediately know someone is here."

"Then we'll just have to go in quick." Tsuzuki said taking out a talisman and placing it on the barrier. He chanted a couple words and then a white light shined and the barrier was gone.

They all quickly teleported into the house and was meet by Muraki sitting in a chair in a living room.

"So glad you could join me gentlemen." he said with a smirk. "What brings you to my humble home?"

"You know damn well why were here you bastard!" Tsuzuki growled "Now where is Hisoka?"

The man smiled and stood up,

"I don't understand he came with me willingly."

All three of the men gasped.

"That's obviously a lie or you told Kurosaki something that would give him no other choice." Tatsumi said adjusting his glass. "Go find Kurosaki Tsuzuki I'll take care of this."

Tsuzuki nodded wanting to kill Muraki himself but knew Hisoka should be found first. He thanked Tatsumi and backed away into a hallway. Muraki was about to stop him but a shadow wrapped around his arms and squeezed with a crushing force.

"Now Mr. Kazutaka let me show you what happens to people that interfere with the Ministry of Hades."

Shadows enveloped the room and all light was blocked out. Muraki looked up and all he could see was two glowing sapphires a head of him. Then something hit in hard and sliced into his skin.

"fine" Muraki laughed coughing up blood. "you want to play...lets play."

"HISOKA!" Tsuzuki screamed running down the hall and tried picking up on his presence but hadn't gotten anything yet. He opened every door he came to and looked inside to see nothing but an empty room. He kept screaming hoping to get a reply but all he every heard was his own voice. Then the house shook violently and Tsuzuki knew he had to hurry before Tatsumi destroyed it. Then he saw a staircase and something in his gut told him to go down it. He ran down and came to large steel door. He tried opening it but it wouldn't budge. The brunette snarled in frustrated and used his shinigami strength to break the door down.

He looked up to see a laboratory. The man stared stunned at the almost science fiction environment. He knew Muraki was odd but he never dreamed of the man having all this underneath his house. His face paled when he thought of what Muraki could have done to Hisoka. He preyed that everything was fine and that he could bring Hisoka back in one piece. The house shook again and he felt the foundation crumble. "I have to hurry."

Then he sensed the teen, barely but he was here somewhere. He ran further in the lab and saw the clear cell. When he saw the bed his heart skipped a beat. "Hisoka please be okay." He ran over and laying under the sheets was the boy he had wanted to see so badly for so long. He let out a cry of happiness and dropped to his knee's by the cell. "Hisoka oh my god..." He looked in and saw the messy blonde locks and the pale face with tear stains that made his heart ache.

"Hisoka..." he said sadly putting a hand on the glass by the teen's face. "I'm so sorry." He said and felt tears prick at the back of his eye's. "If I would have protected you, you wouldn't be here and all of this would have never happened." He saw a dark bruise on the teen's wrist from where someone had grabbed him and felt the tears run down his face.

He stood on shaky legs and walked over to the door. He took a deep breath wiping away the tears and opened the cell door. He walked over to the bed and looked down at his bruised and broken partner. He could have prevent this. Prevented the pain Hisoka must have went through but he didn't he thought and tightened his hands into his fist.

"I let you down...Hisoka......I'm so sorry." He said and gently brushed the teen's golden hair behind his ear before running a finger down his soft cheek. He cleared his suddenly dry throat and hoped he could speak.

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki said gently and shook the teen trying to wake him. The empath's body moved slightly from the force but he didn't move or awake. "Hey, hey wake up..Hisoka..." he said shaking him a little harder but the teen still didn't stir. "What did Muraki do to him? Why isn't he waking up?"

The house shook violently again and Tsuzuki saw some of the walls and ceiling begin to crack. Deep lines in the wall scared the chocolate haired man and he knew he had to get out of the basement before they both got crushed or trapped. He slide his arms under the teen and gently lifted him into the air. "He's lost weight..." Tsuzuki thought walking out of the cell and stared down at the sleeping teen. He quickly ran upstairs as the whole house started to shake and crumble. The floorboards under his feet started to quiver and crack. He looked around frantically not seeing Tatsumi or Watari. A loud crack pierced through his ear drums and he knew he had no choice but to leave the house. He ran to the nearest window and broke the brittle glass with his foot. He held Hisoka tight to his chest and jumped as the mansion collapsed behind him. He landed hard on the grass and made sure Hisoka was alright before standing back up.

"Tsuzuki!!". He heard from behind him. He turned and saw Watari helping support a injured Tatsumi. "We got him." Watari said happily. "Tatsumi used his shadows and sent him somewhere, He'll never come back."

"Thank you Tatsumi." Tsuzuki said feeling overwhelmed. "We need to help Hisoka, I can't wake him."

They quickly teleported back to the Ministry and put Hisoka and Tatsumi in the infirmary. But by the time they got back Tatsumi was already fairly healed thanks to his shinigami powers. Hisoka on the other hand had yet to wake. Watari wheeled away from the bed that Hisoka laid in and sighed. He looked up at Tsuzuki and shook his head with a sigh.

"I don't Know Tsuzuki. All we can do know is wait until he wake's up and I'm sorry but I don't know when that will be."

Tsuzuki nodded sadly and didn't look up as Watari left the room with Tatsumi. He pulled a chair up to the teen's bed and stared down at him. He wished that he could see those beautiful eye's and hear the blonde's voice again because it felt like it had been so long since he had been with the empath. He put his head in his hands and felt his knee's shake.

"Please Hisoka wake up..." He said as tears slide down his cheeks. "All I want is for you to be okay."

He put his head down on the bed and preyed Hisoka would be alright.

Hisoka was awakened by a soft murmur and felt worry and despair. His felt soft clean sheets under him and felt confused. He didn't feel the cold air of the laboratory or the distant sadistic feelings of Muraki. His body felt at ease and for once no pain for the most part. He slowly opened his heavy eyelids and saw a familiar sight. The cluttered and opened medicine cabinets and the messy counter full of papers and empty containers, It was the ministry's infirmary. He felt tears fill his eye's and a string in his heart come undone. He never thought he would be so happy to see the cluttered mess that was their medical room. Then he looked down and saw the crumpled black suit and cried out.

He watched Tsuzuki shoot up and look at him with wide surprised eye's. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours just staring at each other. Then Tsuzuki leaned forward and hugged the teen close. Hisoka couldn't hold back anymore and cried into the man's suit as he was held close. He felt Tsuzuki's happiness and sorrow and felt the man's tears land on his head gently.

"Don't ever do anything this stupid again." Tsuzuki said but his voice cracked and quickly failed him. "Never do anything on your own thinking we can't help. No matter what anyone tells you. I'll always be here to pick you up and protect you. The threats and consequences will never matter as long as your safe." Tsuzuki took a deep breath to keep the tears back. "I love you Hisoka and nothing will ever take you away from me again."

Hisoka hugged him tight and felt the tears on his face get heavier. He felt so happy and finally safe. He knew Tsuzuki wouldn't reject him because if what Muraki did. He loved the man so deeply and now he finally knew Tsuzuki felt the same way. He couldn't be happier.

"I Love you too..."

* * *

R&R

Sorry for the errors


	20. Chapter 20 You Found Me

Well it's done Emerald Tears is a wrap. LOL i hope you all enjoyed it.

Huge thanks to CutieKitty69, Kurama and Hiei fave girlf, Arioch the Fallen Angel, Spiritmind675, Riaries, Kumachannanoda, Menea111, EmilahdaChibi, Noeleisa, NapoleonDaGreat, NarutoUno2, Emiz, Ladyaffirmed, and Peacock Queen. Thank you all so much for the reviews i really loved them and sorry if i missed anyone.

I OWN NOTHING!!!!! YNM IS NOT MINE! Song used is Kelly Clarkson's You Found Me.

* * *

Is this a dream?  
If it is  
Please don't wake me from this high  
I'd become comfortably numb  
Until you opened up my eyes  
To what it's like  
When everything's right  
I can't believe

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me

So, here we are  
That's pretty far  
When you think of where we've been  
No going back  
I'm fading out  
All that has faded me within  
You're by my side  
Now everything's fine  
I can't believe

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me

And I was hiding  
'Til you came along  
And showed me where I belong  
You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know?  
How did you know?

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me

(You found me)  
(When no one else was lookin')  
You found me  
(How did you know just where I would be?)  
You broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
The good and the bad  
And the things in between  
You found me  
You found me

* * *

~Epilogue~

Hisoka sat peacefully in a large white chair by a huge window. His thin legs were under him and a little bundle laid in his arms. Light shone down on him and made the smile on his face all the more radiant. He now lived in Tsuzuki's apartment and they couldn't be happier together. Not long after being rescued Hisoka found himself in the man's apartment and heart. At the beginning it was merely for Hisoka's safety during the pregnancy. Tsuzuki said he wanted to make sure nothing happened and that someone was always with him in case something went wrong. But about four months in they couldn't hold back their feelings any longer and decided to start trying to have a relationship.

Now it was almost a year later and Hisoka couldn't be happier. Tsuzuki made him realize not all love was like Muraki's. Love didn't have to be painful or selfish and Hisoka knew it could be easy now. Loving Tsuzuki was easy for him and it didn't have fear or pain mixed in with it. Everything was new to the teen and Tsuzuki did it all perfectly. Never hurting Hisoka or doing something that made him uncomfortable. In the teen's mind it was perfect and he would never trade it for anything. Tatsumi recovered quickly and was back to budgeting the next day. Then after the blonde regained himself he was called into Chief Kanoe's office. The Chief told him that a candle brunt out and that they had confirmed that it was Muraki's, Muraki was dead. Even the curse had lifted and Hisoka was finally able to relax and be free.

Then of course nine loving months after he was rescued he gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Watari did the c-section and had a worried Tsuzuki over his shoulder the whole time. At first the pale skin and silver hair of the baby was a stinging reminder to the teen of what had happened to him. But once Hisoka held the tiny baby in his arms he feel in love with him. He had his emerald eye's and ever since the two were inseparable. The little baby was his reason to live and he never wanted to part with him. He decided to name him Noah because in Hebrew it meant rest and comfort. The baby was Hisoka's rest and comfort. Life just seemed to fall into place perfectly after he was born and the bond they had could never be broken. Not by anyone.

Hisoka's train of thought was broken when he heard the front door opened. He looked up and saw Tsuzuki walk into the living room. He smiled happily at the man and was given a gently kiss while the brunette gently caressed Noah's soft head. He was finally happy and free.

* * *

R&R

I'm thinking about uploading some of my original stories but i don't think you can do that on this website so i may be getting an account on Fictionpress or AdultFanfiction. Let me know if anyone would be interested because i'm still not sure. Maybe some people can help me make up my mind. :)

thanks so much for reading till the end guys.

Much love

~Yukitsukamoon


	21. AN Fictionpress

Hi everyone Yukitsukamoon here ^^

This is just an update and I know it's been forever but better late than never. I now have an account on Fictionpress and have began uploading stories. My new one is Dark to Light passions. This account is just going to be for my musing and things may get uploaded and then never continued but I will let people know it that would happen.

Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews on Emerald Tears and hopefully i'll see you on fictionpress.

~Yukitsukamoon

Out


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